Foreboding Joy

Posted on June 4, 2023 by Becky Dingle

Dear Reader:

Foreboding Joy… now that is about as good an example of an ” oxymoron ” as any sample I have heard… ( two opposite meanings connected together) so I should have known it was a Brene Brown creation.

Brene Brown exploded into the limelight with this one ( largely ignored earlier) word and never looked back. VULNERABLE!

Brene once wrote that her favorite quote (that proved to be the catalyst for her new outlooks on life) said simply; “The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time.”

This I could and still can relate to… standing in front of 30 thirteen year olds each morning… daring you to make their learning interesting …definitely required all kinds of armor… starting with ” vulnerability” … the term most closely associated with Brene Brown’s teachings.

Vulnerability-” uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure… the process of stepping out of our comfort zone and doing something that forces us to loosen control.”

Think about it… don’t we all emotionally ” armor up” each morning when we face the day to avoid shame, anxiety, uncertainty, and fear?”

There are all kinds of different armor people wear …to protect ourselves… numbing is one that Brene Brown says is a popular one… it consists of reactions like raiding the pantry and stuffing our faces as full of carbohydrates as humanly possible… some people turn to drugs , gossip… perhaps intertwined with social media these days.

Brene said the real truth emerges when you compare sharing some sad or hurtful personal problems on ( say) Facebook and getting back a few ” So Sorry” quips which make you feel marginally better. But how about taking off your armor… courageously calling a friend and asking if they have ten minutes to listen to something that hurt you terribly …( perhaps a job lay-off) and just listening …

The armor that really struck home with me was Foreboding Joy. ( I have certainly experienced this armor example. You get some amazing fantastic news that leaves you in an highly euphoric state of mind… crazy happy… but then before you can even share the good tidings of great joy… you start dress-rehearing for the disappointment that is sure to follow… ” It’s just too good to be true… it can’t last!” ” The pendulum is surely going to swing the other way! ”

There is one sure-fire method that works if we find ourselves purposely down-playing wonderful news… self-degrading our hard earned acknowledgment or achievement… we must turn our armor of vulnerability inside out and fill our response with overwhelming Gratitude!

So until tomorrow…

” We Are Enough… Thank You for Accepting Me Just As I Am!”

Today is my favorite day… Winnie the Pooh

Celebrating with Ben …five years since the creation of this amazing assisted living establishment ( Wellmore) that Ben proudly calls home… he is one of their most popular residents and heads up many social activities for his friends. Best food around… and he’s right!
The Sweet scent of Spring Indoors!
Eva Cate had the third highest Social Studies score at Moultrie Middle for her level… is Boo proud or what? ( No ” foreboding joy ” here… just JOY!!! )

About Becky Dingle

I was born a Tarheel but ended up a Sandlapper. My grandparents were cotton farmers in Laurens, South Carolina and it was in my grandmother’s house that my love of storytelling began beside an old Franklin stove. When I graduated from Laurens High School, I attended Erskine College (Due West of what?) and would later get my Masters Degree in Education/Social Studies from Charleston Southern. I am presently an adjunct professor/clinical supervisor at CSU and have also taught at the College of Charleston. For 28 years I taught Social Studies through storytelling. My philosophy matched Rudyard Kipling’s quote: “If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.” Today I still spread this message through workshops and presentations throughout the state. The secret of success in teaching social studies is always in the story. I want to keep learning and being surprised by life…it is the greatest teacher. Like Kermit said, “When you’re green you grow, when you’re ripe you rot.”
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