Chapel of Hope Stories

Dear Reader:

I am one happy camper! My neighbor next door has started securing and replacing every part of the ancient fence that separates the empty lot that his family owns… all the way to the back of my property going into the woods!

Not only has rotten planks been replaced but meshed wire stapled into the empty spaces that the ” X” design leaves open. He is about halfway through the project… and doing it all on his own! I have thanked him profusely… that rotting fence has been deteriorating for decades!

After whining about my old house and all its problems… this project is nothing short of a miracle… the fence looks so good… secured again and not half/falling down!

During the height of the corona virus… didn’t we all start feeling ” fenced in” at times? Wondering if we would ever return to a sense of ” normalcy”… being able to come and go as we please and do whatever we wanted with whomever we wanted?

I remember my mind and my heart started becoming antagonists… one trying to ” fence” the other in… this internal battle was being waged while I sat ” on the fence” pulled in two directions at the same time. Understanding and Frustration.

Fences, as a whole, get a pretty bad rap in poetry, literature and social interactions… I remember Granddaddy Charlie always lamented over a neighbor cotton farmer… proclaiming he ” would argue with a fence post.”

But then Babe Ruth came along and turned fences into something positive as the baseball spectators yelled at him to “Swing for the fences!”

During my junior high school years… I felt ” fenced out” at school watching the popular girls with their pretty straight teeth, long straight hair, Weejun loafers, round circle pins, Village skirts, blouses, and sweaters. Not a good feeling…

One of life’s lessons that we all must learn is how to ” mend fences” because no one gets through life without causing pain to others… we mere mortals will make mistakes and hurt others … the price of being human.

So until tomorrow…” A fence to wisdom is silence.”

Today is my favorite day/Winnie the Pooh

Just got a text from Walsh declaring happily that he and Mollie had left the kids with Mollie’s parents for a few days ( after a family gathering in Vermont) …and were now at the Cliff House-Maine -kids-less and so appreciative!

Enjoy Walsh and Mollie… you deserve the vacation time together!

Dear Reader:

I am at the stage in life now that I understand completely the quote: ” Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.” Soren Kirrkagaard

We all are our past experiences, good and bad, but the fulfillment of our lives depends on the meaning we create from our experiences that shape who we are. We, and we alone, have the choice to select the personal meaning that affects our future lives positively or negatively. It is all up to us.

When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer my surgeon surmised I had probably had it about a year prior to its medical discovery. Since that year was the excitement of planning my firstborn, Mandy’s wedding…I can understand it. To say I was “tunnel-visioned” would be an understatement. I daily lived and breathed that wedding!!!

Two weeks after the wedding I received the diagnosis and I was put on the fast treatment track… surgery two days from the surgeon office visit-I was anemic and had to gets lots of blood pumped into me the next day and then surgery followed the next day.

It was all a blur to me, my children, family, friends… and speaking of friends, Brooke was my rock throughout it all. My surgeon was talking about three years as an approximate time-line for my longevity… Brooke and I just stared in a daze. Too much to process so quickly.

I distinctly remember the day a few weeks later( after having some time to process what had just transpired) looking in the mirror and ” seeing” mother… feeling what she must have felt learning she had bone cancer and they had to amputate her left hand. Young widowed mother with three little children to raise. Good grief! If mother could pull that off… surely I could take ” little c” on and give it a fight to remember. My children were grown and I had just retired… my situation was a cake walk compared to mother’s experience! I could do this… I would do this… dammit… take that , my cold/hearted nemesis… I wanted to be there for more weddings and grandchildren… and here I am today … living with cancer but more importantly living!!! ( Three weddings and five grandchildren later)

I will be the first to admit that cancer has taught me invaluable lessons… like the importance of being present, choosing happiness, making and spending time with the ones you love… and ” turning wounds into wisdom.”

So until tomorrow… Recognize past difficult events and experiences in your life as something that happened to you, rather than becoming and being a part of you. Be thankful for everything that happens in your life… it’s all an experience. It’s all life!

Today is my favorite day. Winnie the Pooh

Gingi stopped by and brought me a bag of memories from Harriett… she just gives and gives to everyone and everything she fights for… a soldier in pink. Gingi said Harriett will be going to the Presbyterian Village to regain her strength from the recent radiation and lung chemo treatments. Please say prayers for Harriett to regain her appetite so she can regain her strength! Thank you one and all!!!

On a light note Harriett also sent a kitchen towel with a perfect message on it. Even though Summerville has lost its ” small town” population… in many ways it still contains its small town charms like the message on the towel Harriett sent.

I love my nooks and crannies… this is my favorite one in my bedroom!

Dear Reader:

I grew up in the Haymount area of Fayetteville, NC -not the old historic Victorian mansions side but on the other side where ” Leave it to Beaver” middle class homes pervaded the landscape… ours being the wooden two story duplex on Huske Street.

It was a typical fifties neighborhood… our street was at the top of three hilly streets-all running downhill to the delight of us skaters, bikers and occasional sledders! ( except when we had to climb back up. )

Three blocks away was Fort Bragg Blvd and we were forbidden to get close to it, much less try to cross it. We were all pretty good until one of the first McDonalds went up across that major Highway! It was the closest thing to heaven.

We would save up our allowance each month to get one legitimate meal there with mother in her car… never breathing that the oldest in each family met once a month to bring back orders for the neighborhood gang. Of course it only lasted until ” Mac Scout” ( as we called the selected deliverer) got caught by a parent eating inside. Those early McDonalds was every kid’s fantasy meal!

Fort Bragg-biggest and most congested highway in the state… in the 50’s -we should not have been crossing it!

But the summer memory that has stayed with me is a creek that ran downhill through a forest area just a few blocks from the house in another direction. In grade school and junior high it was my escape to run to when I was upset or simply wanted to be alone.

One year when I was about 10… I was upset about something at school and went and sat down on the embankment to watch the creek flow over the rocks in the shade of overhanging trees. So soothing. I happened to still have my book satchel … I pulled out a notebook and wrote all my feelings out-then folded the note over and over before burying it under a dry rock on the embankment. I felt so much better.

It was the beginning of my love for writing and healing… I wrote when I was exceptionally happy or sad… and always on my birthday-writing out my dreams for the new age. Then I folded the note and placed it under a rock.

The day before we left Fayetteville for good (when I was thirteen that summer)… I made my last trek to the creek. I had already written my last farewell note to that special place that brought me such comfort and joy. This time, however, I wrapped the note in aluminum foil and tied a string around it… leaving it under the highest rock I could reach.

I have never returned… I feel sure that whole area has changed with time and climate and real estate …but that’s okay… it is just as vivid in my memory as the last time I said good-bye. Everyone should have a special place growing up where they can commune with nature and God.

So until tomorrow… Every time I hear or sing Rock of Ages… I immediately think of that sanctuary that ” saved” a youth like me when I needed my special time… my conversation with God! A note for every new birthday year: new AGE hopes and dreams left under a rock!

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

As children of school age… didn’t we all live for summer? It was like Christmas vacation in eternal extension… except no gifts were necessary… no school and loss of rigid routines was gift enough!

I started thinking of all the words that conjure up visions of summer… through children and adult eyes… and historical facts we equate to this season. Here’s my selection!

Today is the Summer solstice… the longest day of the year … so we all need to get outside and enjoy every minute of it… the summer will end on September 20. Children think hot and swimming in summer… adults think hot and air conditioning… and the dreaded monthly electric bill!

The first ” modern” Olympic Games started in the summer of 1896 in Athens, Greece.

Watermelon… loved by both children and adults but Psst! Don’t let children know it is considered a vegetable-not a fruit! ( in the cucumber / vegetable group)

The Eiffel Tower grows six inches each summer due to heat and iron expansion ( I would think possibly more this record-breaking hot temperature summer)

Ice Cream ! Loved by ” children of all ages” -July is National Ice Cream Month.

The first woman’s bathing suit started in the 1800’s -bloomers included.

July is Blueberry Month! Think Maine!!

July is named after Julius Caesar and August is named for Caesar Augustus-nephew of Julius-means ” reverend.”

Mosquitoes… disliked by children and adults equally… my worst enemy as a gardener!

Thunderstorms can be equally exciting and terrifying simultaneously… but tolerated quite well… if they leave much needed rain behind…

For us Lowcountry residents June 1 is the start of Hurricane season… an annual threat made more active by the earth’s warming dilemma -thus warming the waters that trigger more hurricanes… not a good cycle these days -we just have to keep the faith!

So until tomorrow…

And speaking of walking by faith… year after year Harriett Edwards and I met at the Charleston Race for the Cure! Harriett has the most amazing faith as she once again gets her slingshot ready to fight cancer. We both believe in the power of prayer and I would love it… if you would say a prayer for my sister-in-pink, Harriett, She’s giving it her all… let’s do too!

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Linda Carson… my first oncology nurse who was the brightest star in the chemo infusion room ( and recent retiree) stopped by with two witty and beautiful gifts.

Dear Reader:

When it comes to old homes ( my home) there are so many things that need fixing … I feel immobilized where to start because everything is a ” big ticket item” … under headings like electricity, plumbing, new floors, new appliances, moisture issues… new bathrooms-pretty much the whole house except for the specific rooms I sleep in, den and creative computer room by the side garden. This is my world I live in.

It is also the reason I spend so much time outside ( except lately with the triple digits) -there the beauty is stationary … just hanging out with Mother Earth. No expensive repairs needed.

I used to tell visitors who stopped by that ” If I had the money to redecorate… you’d see the real me.” No longer… what you see IS the real me… who lives in a deteriorating house and prefers to concentrate on making a few spots ” happy places” and ignoring the rest…

Sarah Breathnach ( Simple Abundance) says it best: Tools for happy living/Acceptance, blessing our circumstances, and understanding that happiness lives inside us… not personal belongings ( or lack of).

When I get down sometimes on reality over dreams…that make up my life… I remember this passage: ” Walk around your rooms and offer thanks for the walls, and roof that safely enclose you. Pause for a moment to consider all the women who have lost their homes through death, divorce, debt or disaster. Be grateful for the house you have, knowing that, at the moment, all you have is all you truly need.

So until tomorrow… When people come to my house… I hope they feel the happy spaces -home is a feeling! Home is smiles!

I babysat Saturday night so Mandy could take John out for Father’s Day/

Today is my favorite day… Winnie the Pooh

Walsh, Mollie and the kids left for Carowinds Friday for Walsh’s company had bought tickets for all employees but alas thunderstorms prevented them from getting to ride the rides … very disappointing… but then they went on to Charlotte for Rutledge his ” Loggerhead”lacrosse team to play in another southeastern tournament and the winds of chance blew more favorably-they won the tournament once again.

Dear Reader:

Tunnel vision is described as having a very narrow view, inability to see beyond a limited viewpoint. It is the key reason our United States has, sadly, become ” dis-united.

If we let our focus narrow… we start to miss important things around us. Those ” missed things” are like lost puzzle pieces… leaving holes in our understanding of what truly is happening. Our visionary perspective becomes flawed and the puzzle will never get finished in its wholeness.

Certainly we are given example after example in Proverbs ( woman planting a vineyard, a wise herdsman, a wise leader who brings intelligent lasting order or the ant whose diligence assures him of food at harvest….that long-term man-made planning is necessary and profitable. BUT… Proverbs: 19:21-” … The human mind may devise many plans, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will be established.”

We still need God’s long-term, everlasting vision to accompany the plans of us mere mortals… in other words we need God to continue prodding us in the right direction with our plans.

So until tomorrow… With today being Father’s Day… we need to keep listening and watching for positive signs from our Heavenly Father that we are seeing the whole picture before following one certain path depending only on our mortal limitations. In the end God’s plans for us are our ultimate goal!

I only had an earthly father for five years… but my Heavenly Father has filled in with ” Amazing Grace” and my growing mustard faith! Let’s also hear it for the single parents who had to take on dual roles raising us! Mother and father!

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

This message takes on new meaning these days out in the hot hot garden!

Hope everyone had a happy Father’s Day!!!

Dear Reader:

The Dalai Lama says it best: ” Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.”

Take a moment and remember when this exact scenario played out for you… and then the moment ( later) when you realized how fortunate you were …at what first appeared as a crushing disappointment.

One example for me was when we moved from Fayetteville NC to Laurens. SC. I didn’t want to move… I had friends and two cousins my age who were like sisters… my babysitter love for little Gregory. I already had decided I wanted to go to UNC to college… didn’t want any part of it.

Eight years later… at my Erskine college graduation, as I looked around at my classmates, especially the Ya’s … I knew then that the detour that lead me to a small liberal arts college in an even smaller SC southern town ( Due West) was a place I was supposed to land… it was the birthplace of my rebirth ..evolving into the person I was supposed to become.

Again our little mustard seed returns with the importance of faith… the faith that one day will take us home. Honey responded to yesterday’s post…adding that mustard also is good for leg cramps. When she got married she was given a mustard seed to wear in her shoe on her wedding day for good luck in her marriage and it sure did work! Honey also has a bumper sticker on her car that reads: ” Do All Things With Great Love.” ( And that is exactly what Honey has done all her life.” )

So until tomorrow… If you are too busy to laugh… you are too busy!

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

A big shout-out to my oldest grandson, Rutledge who turns nine today!!!He and his family are having a Carowinds/ Charlotte Lacrosse weekend with Father’s Day … putting dad right in the center of family life! …perfect timing!

Dear Reader:

One lesson in life I have learned is that small tokens of friendship and love are more important in life than grand gestures. Things like receiving a brilliant smile from a stranger in a day gone awry… restores hope in mankind.

Drop-in visits from friends and family to share a moment of congeniality or a dessert, an ice cream cone, or simply a hug turns an ordinary day into a memorable one. I think it is true that the ‘ best things in life do come in small packages! And this is reiterated in scripture… with the amazing mustard seed.

Early on I received the token below with the card attached… that I took to every early chemo or radiation session.

Most of us remember this part of the mustard seed parable but like.a teacher reminding her students (during a review before a test) …” If I keep returning to certain items again and again… you can be assured it is an important fact that needs to be remembered! This is also true of Jesus’s messages. Jesus repeatedly used analogies of the mustard seed to illustrate what heaven is like in Matthew 13.

Personally mustard is my favorite condiment… I love it on hot dogs, hamburgers, hot pretzels, mustard greens… in sauces and dressings. * And did you know applied mustard to sunburnt skin… will neutralize the sting of the burn?

Up close a mustard seed is teeny-tiny and hard as a rock. Excuse the pun but surely we can all ” mustard” up enough faith as this little seed? In fact we are told…with faith only this size we can move mountains!

Later Jesus tells the parable about the tiny mustard seed growing into a tree big enough to hold a whole lot of birds… except, of course, he is not talking about birds but people.

Mustard trees in Palestine don’t look like American mustard trees/they resemble a big bush that can hold lots of birds.

The continued meaning about the mustard parable is that the kingdom of heaven is like this enormous plant that has room for huge flocks of birds … as heaven has enough room for all and He means ALL God’s children.

So until tomorrow… I will actually do some math for you… when asked to find the simplest denominator in Christianity… the answer is faith… simply faith! It is all it takes to move mountains!

My faith was restored when I heard from Carolyn Daniels Wednesday… she told me ” Becky, a craw is the same as a “crop” in a chicken. It is a place they store food until it can be digested… ( came straight from the mountains of North Carolina!) Finally… now that was the best little gift of all!!! Thank you Carolyn ( ” I no love longer have something stuck in my craw!”)

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

I am not sure when it happened. It happened before my brain recognized it as a bona fide new pattern in my daily routine.

I have started waking up at the ” crack of dawn.” The first few times it happened I had fallen asleep watching television and had to turn off everything and then try to get back asleep so I figured it was just a circumstance or coincidence.

Soon, however, I was waking up at 6:30 ( almost literally) on the dot… as if I had an internal alarm going off. I felt replenished and ready to take on the day. I felt a sense of pride in watering both gardens, throwing in a load of clothes to wash… picking up from the day before, loading or unloading the dishwasher, some days running to the grocery ( loved the feeling of being only one of a handful of people shopping that early.) and then fixing some toast while finishing watching the last morning segment of GMA. Morning mission accomplished and I was more alert and active than I had been in awhile! The whole wonderful day ahead of me!

Mary Oliver’s prose speaks to me in her simple truths and observations!

“Why I wake early Hello, sun in my face. Hello, You who spread it over fields and into the faces of tulips and the nodding morning glories and into the windows of even the miserable and the crotchety- best preacher that ever was, dear star, that just happens to be where you are in the universe to keep us from ever-darkness, to ease us with warm touching, to hold us in the great hands of light – Good morning , good morning, good morning. Watch now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness.”

So until tomorrow… I look on this God gift as a much needed change in my prior routine… I have more energy, can’t wait to get out and check on the gardens and look forward to the unfolding of surprises and opportunities laying in wait… to be revealed!

Today is my favorite day/Winnie the Pooh

Yesterday Cable-man ” Spectrum Samuel” arrived two days early to put in all new lines that were way overdue for a ” make-over” he grinned. He helped me change a light bulb I couldn’t reach and worked out in the excessive heat climbing tall ladders to replace old drooping lines-Samuel is my hero! I have Cable… I have a television that works!!!

While Samuel was here Michele and Peter ( church friends) stopped by to select four ” Honey” bowls for the Ukrainian Hope for Hunger fundraiser… bringing the most beautiful caladium with them. I am going to “babysit” it inside until this excessive heat subsides! Thank you Michele and Peter.

Interesting coincidence… I find this poem and my first morning glory blooms!

The other Saturday when Mollie and the kids were here… they got interested in looking up their birth gem stones… mine is the sapphire for September ( Libra) and the morning glory is my flower ” gem stone” because of the color.

My other birth gemstone is on my glass door -my birthday angel holding the September gemstone that Marcia, Mollie’s mother, gave me many years ago! I told Mollie I see it every time I leave and re-enter – The angel tells me good-bye and welcomes me back home. My home guardian angel-I feel secure knowing she is always guarding the home at night!

Dear Reader:

With my cable still out and my jaunt to my polling precinct only lasting ten minutes since ( sadly I was the only one in the room with the poll workers) .. I returned home with a lot of time on my hands.

What has saved me is a series of murder mysteries ( setting on Edisto Island) that I just started. In one scene the main character asks a colleague…” What’s sticking in your craw?” Suddenly I was transported back in time to Grandmother Wilson’s farm with her asking a little pouty girl with arms crossed and lips poked out -me-the exact question, using the same expression.

I never understood the question per se but I was smart enough to pick up on the gist of the intent. ( And no matter the problem… a glass of iced tea and a cookie always provided a satisfactory ” cure.” )

Granddaddy Charlie used a similar expression based on his many frustrating episodes with keeping his tractor going…with the question ” What’s grinding your gears?”

Suddenly I found myself wanting to know what a ” craw” was? Perhaps a body part and if so how did something get stuck in it?

Google failed me… it sent me to southern expressions and excerpts where the expression could be found in prior stories but no one had a definitive explanation concerning what it was or still is.

As part of the advertising for a complaint department… I found this picture and under it was written… ” Call and let us know for one and all… “What’s Sticking in Your Craw?”

As I was still searching for the definition of ” craw” Google kept pulling up more southern expressions and I have to admit it was a fun detour! I will share some with you…

Both Jo and Bernice shared their personal examples of It’s So Hot……

Jo- was driving in the days before car air conditioning… an egg rolled out of its carton, fell and cracked right on the floorboard-By the time Jo got home… there was a perfectly fried egg waiting for her… to clean up.

Bernice said her husband , one morning, warmed up her coffee in the microwave… by the time she went to sip it-it was scalding hot and she yelled ” This coffee’s so hot… it would burn the lips off a chicken!!!”

So until tomorrow… southern expressions are tricky unless you really know the person delivering it… I remember one day a boy in my biology class in college tapped me on the shoulder and when I turned around he whispered ” You’re about as cute as a speckled coon dog puppy?” I remember being so taken back… trying to decide if this was good or bad… but he looked sincere so I replied ” Thank you… I think?”

Today is my favorite day. Winnie the Pooh

This hibiscus bloom was so big -it was lying on the grass… so I grabbed one of my rabbit statues and propped the bloom up-I should have added a blue ribbon around the rabbit’s neck and then it would have been patriotic enough for Flag Day! Wave that flag and vote!!!