Chapel of Hope Stories

Dear Reader:

This little virus actually looks kind of cute but believe me nothing cute about it…

I have had now two coronavirus tests…one last night that Tommy performed and the first one a few days ago that Mandy did…and both came back negative. ( which would make me so happy …except I still wake up burning up in the middle of the night and feeling awful but I am getting liquids in me to fight back.

I take Tylenol at night and feel great and then wake up early in the morning feeling my face is bright red and my mouth is parched. Can’t swallow… a viscous cycle! But I am determined to overcome this strange dilemma!

Now for a miraculous comeback… yesterday Ben looked so beyond pitiful but today he spoke to Lee and me…Ben was back in Ben but we were told the MRI showed he had suffered three strokes one after another… he is going to be working hard in rehab. But he has survived three consecutive strokes! Wow!!!

God YOU are in charge and You are mind-boggling!

No doubt God is the Great Physician!

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

When this title visual popped up the other day… it made me pause to reflect. Courage to fight our way out of dark situations has nothing to do with feelings. It is the act of doing something what one feels is right despite one’s fears. Where there is no fear, there can be no courage.

We can’t simply wait for courage to arrive. We will wait forever. The ” feeling” will never come because it doesn’t exist. We are only courageous when we do what we feel is right, despite our fear. Both inspiration and desperation provide the catalysts. But only we, ourselves, can display courage!

We have all been there and know this to be true and how people who find it at a critical moment are inspired by those around them and act accordingly or reach inward farther than ever before and not only find it… but act on it.

And with courage light reappears… and for each of us … we can take it and share it with the world.

So until tomorrow…I will update you in a minute… but courage is needed in my life now and I pray for all of you facing hard times, situations, or decisions. Sometimes getting up every day to face the world IS the most courageous thing of all.

Ben is still struggling at MUSC-haven’t gotten any reports back from his MRI-Lee puts me on FaceTime… so I can see Ben but he has changed so much in appearance that it is all I can do not to break down. He is ” estimated” to return to Wellmore Wednesday and no doubt tough decisions and changes are facing us. But we will face them as a family.

Please keep Ben in your prayers… I am definitely on the backside of my virus issue! So thankful!!!!!!!!Your prayers brought me back to me …no doubt!

God is still winking and reassuring me to trust in Him. When I went outside … for the FIRST time since May when I bought a pot with a pretty Gerber Daisy in it, it bloomed yesterday. It had been given the grand entrance place at the front of the garden and all spring and summer… did nothing! Leaves turned brown … tried everything but nothing bloomed… came so close to tossing it and replacing it… but something stopped me each time.

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Yesterday was National Daughter’s Day and what an amazing daughter ( Mandy) God gave me!

Dear Reader:

Since I spent Saturday and Sunday mainly by myself( not wanting to risk giving anyone else the flu) it gave me lots of time to recognize the far-sighted gift of God that He shares with us.

I awoke to a beautiful day but then I received an unexpected upsetting text from Lee. Ben woke up Sunday morning and didn’t recognize any of the help staff who serves him everyday… he was confused and anxious.

The medical team was called in and quickly recognized he must have had another brain stroke or hemorrhage.

The ambulance was on its way to MUSC when they contacted Lee who left immediately and then contacted me… we were both very emotionally upset. The staff wanted to know when was the last time Ben was lucid… I told Lee from 9-10 when he called me out of the blue the night before.

I usually just listen when Ben calls because he is bored and lonely, especially now with no way to walk off any energy. It was the best conversation we had in a long time… remembering our parents and for Ben especially his daddy. At six years of age, daddy was the center of his universe and he still relives the moment he was told his daddy was gone…he ran out the back door, holding his ears screaming , yelling ” No he isn’t… he wouldn’t leave me.”

He hid out until darkness descended while the whole family and neighbors were called out to form a search party. He was hiding under a bale of hay in the back corner of the barn. Sound asleep.

Ben has never since stopped looking for his daddy and Saturday night I listened to his memories of him. Sadly David and I were too young to remember him as Ben did. Our memories are locked in old photos….

I ended the conversation telling Ben that we came from pioneer stock and both of us being stuck inside for a few days or weeks wasn’t the end of the world… in the big picture just a temporary set-back. We agreed, wished each other a good night and we loved each other.

So imagine my shock hearing he had another brain hemorrhage less than two weeks after the last one! I prayed fervently to God that nothing else happen and not on the 24th… I could never look at my birth date again the same way. My sunny birthday ( in my mind) grew dark and cloudy. I was so worried about Ben and yet so thankful for that conversation the night before.

My only company was Tommy and the ” three amigos” ( Pip, Atticus, and George) but what a great distraction! Tommy was actually bringing me a new thermometer-mine’s battery died. ( He said CVS’s thermometers that you stuck in your mouth were gone and even the other ones… were limited… got one for forehead.)

I had two sub-temperature readings which is my natural and normal reading ( and I took no medicine Saturday night before going to bed. ) I think I hear ” Miss Flu” packing her bags… am calling her an Uber to carry her far far away… my treat!

I should be getting my new cancer medicine Fed-Exed to me in the next couple of days… Hallelujah! Things are starting to turn around!!!

And how good is God… my Saturday night celebration ( if I had not gotten the flu) would have been a complete… disaster… my whole family is crazy in love with their Clemson Tigers. Disappointment, frustration and heartache are not good eating companions. Tommy told me Kaitlyn tested positive on a coronavirus test when she woke up sick yesterday so unknowingly this could have presented a problem … it was not in the stars this year to celebrate but instead commemorate life… beautiful in good times and not so good!

But Jake had a wonderful birthday weekend -he went to a fishing tournament Saturday morning and caught 13 fish… best ever! Then yesterday friends from school, neighborhood and cousins went with him to a fun park where they could putt putt and drive their favorite-go-carts!

After everything came crashing down for Lee too with the call about his dad from Wellmore he hurried over there and then had to rush back to help with the family birthday party and ( lots of friends) for his precious son Rhodes.

Lee texted to update me last evening that Ben is going to undergo a MRI this morning and he will update me with the results and recommendations. I would truly appreciate prayers for him.

Lee ended with this picture last evening- he said he has never been so completely exhausted as he was right then … had to laugh when I got his last correspondence….

So until tomorrow…

This year I had time be thankful for everyone in my life who has added so much joy to it… including all of you! Thank you Gin-g for the banana pudding milkshake and KC for the vegetable soup drop-off yesterday.

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

With a lot of time on my hands the past few days… it has given me a special gift… to do a self-assessment on myself… (long overdue I might add.)

And guess what? Me, Myself, and I are closer than we have ever been… we all really like each other. And the nice thing about getting older is that I have dropped comparing myself critically against some other person I thought I wanted to emulate… to be. Like the fall leaves I am starting to let go of negative comparisons, inferior feelings about myself, and silly aspirations that I now see were never meant to be … because it wasn’t right for me.

So take me world as I am … or not. But this is who I am … blemishes and all. And I wouldn’t trade me for anyone else. Wow! That is a freeing feeling … like the burdens of the world has been lifted off my shoulders!

I am not Atlas and not expected to carry the world’s burdens!

I have done the best I could with what I had…and been supported and blessed by my Creator throughout the whole endeavor. If I had to repeat it… I wouldn’t change a thing. It looks s a beautiful life!

Change is internal and the personal changes throughout my life have all come from family, friends, mentors ( my provided guardian angels) who were sent to be in my life to steer me to here… to this moment in time.

So until tomorrow… I am celebrating being alive this day of my birth day. I am thankful for all I have and haven’t! Forget perfection… instead concentrate your efforts into peace… the kind that does surpass all understanding… while keeping those smiles coming… they are needed now more than ever… the best gifts you ever send or receive!

Just received this picture of Mary ( Susan Swicegood’s granddaughter and Kaitlyn’s niece) the moment I finished typing on the line above and nothing is more memorable than the day you see yourself minus braces smiling! Congrats Mary! Beautiful!!!!!! Now share this gift with the world… everyday!

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Pooh watched the Clemson -Florida State game with me on the sofa and by the agonizing end… politely asked if he could return to the garden… wished I could have joined him.

I had privately asked my beloved Tigers if they would give me a victorious win for my birthday… instead they gave it to Florida State. I have to admit… that was one of the most heartbreaking games I have watched in a long time… don’t mine losing but hate giving a game away but I still adore my tigers… my love is unconditional!

Dear Reader:

Dear Reader:

Another God Wink… as soon as I read this… I thought ” Exactly… every time we fall and wonder if we will rise again… God assures us we will.” Why do we put ourselves through these temporary doubting periods… I am determined to stop it as much as humanly possible… my birthday wish is for a renewed year of faith, life, joy, and adventure!” Watch out world!

Today fall has fallen! It is official! Even though in the Lowcountry our leaves won’t start turning colors and falling until closer to Halloween …still we can all enjoy that Harvest Moon as it begins to grow bigger and bigger each night until October 29 when the beautiful full Harvest Moon reveals all its gorgeous orange glow!!! Can hardly wait! Even the sunsets now are a brilliant red glow.

This idea really got my light bulb burning… I am going through a strange fluke detour getting to my destination of renewed strength and energy through a new drug but in the big picture… this is just an annoyance… I am still moving forward ! Think about it… we usually get what we ask for or at least what we need… but it rarely comes in the package you think it is supposed to come in. Life loves surprises!

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Go my Clemson Tigers! I love you!

Dear Reader:

Can’t believe I am still riding a strange roller coaster… still feeling chills, fever -just downright lousy.

Mandy came and gave me the coronavirus test and it came back negative… I was so happy… so it had to be the flu or some bug. Reality check… no matter which one… you end up treating ( except for staying away from people with coronavirus) it is pretty much the same tried and true … heavy duty Tylenol, a decongestant and Mandy found a cold, flu, sore throat, ( maximum strength soft gels the pharmacist recommended.)

I called my oncologist to update the office what was happening and obviously not being able to start the new drug until after I was well again and not running fever or coughing with congestion. Dr Jeter was out of the office but I talked to her wonderful assistant and she said gently… ” When did you get hit with all this… and I replied Tuesday afternoon… after my good news report. ” She said that two to three days is usually not enough time to get an accurate reading. ” I should give it a few more days and re-test to be safe next week.

In the meantime stick with the basics – Tylenol and decongestants-back to square one. And cancelled birthday weekend obviously!

I admit it was a bummer and I gave myself a few minutes to have a pity party but then today’s visual quote popped up and I had to laugh. ( This ” whatever” I have …took advantage of my physical defenses being at their lowest-had been off my chemo daily regiment for two weeks … I had nothing to fight with… and now, unfortunately I am only able to eat soft foods between chills and fevers. So it is going to be a long haul or at least a longer delay before I can start my new chemo medication now and trying to get weight back on.)

So until tomorrow… ” It takes as long as it takes… Be gentle on yourself along the way. ”

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Thank All of You for the cards, letters, texts with encouraging words and birthday wishes… they brighten each and everyday! Love you all! 💗❤️💗❤️

Dear Reader:

I feel like the last couple of day… I have been on an elevator ride.

Right before I left Brooke’s Monday I suddenly felt so tired … I took a little nap but by the time I got home…I just got ready for bed and fell fast asleep.

Tuesday I woke up knowing this was an important day… concentrated on that… pretty nervous and then I was feeling euphoric at the good news.

But once again after Mandy left I just felt exhausted again and fell fast asleep …this time when I woke up I was running a fever.

So today Mandy is calling to get me a visit to my primary doctor to see if I have coronavirus, flu, or some other bug…

Life is strange sometimes taking us from highs to lows so quickly but like the title picture says…” It will all be okay in the end… so if it is not okay… it just simply means it is not the end.”

So until tomorrow… hopefully will find out what I have and start feeling better.

Today was is my favorite day- Winnie the Pooh

My amazing neighbor Vickie has been unbelievable…bringing me all kinds of drinks and wonderful foods plus a birthday mum! 🎈

Dear Reader:

When I woke up Tuesday morning… I had a moment of confusion…what day was it? Oh yes… the circled Big Day… the results of my eligibility for the potentially life extension drug for my metastatic breast cancer.

Why was I so out of it? I remembered falling asleep with out eating supper… just felt so tired. I scrambled to get ready but when we got there the waiting room was packed and it took almost an hour to get called back.

I was so thankful Mandy had returned with me for the results because it would have been a long nervous wait alone.

But when we got in Dr Jeter was all smiles… I had the mutant receptor for this new medicine. Happiness is!

While Dr Jeter, Mandy and I were talking you wonderful friends were texting prayers… Dr Jeter was smiling ” Are those your ” Ya Ya’s?

” Some, I answered but others were Summerville family, friends and you wonderful post readers. The texts were beeping in. I have no doubt all my prayer friends made the new drug eligibility possible.

So until tomorrow…

Today is my favorite day- Winnie the Pooh

Mandy and I stopped by Lassie’s on the way home and dropped off her September Fall birthday Mum… Lassie and I love ” Mum” birthdays!!!

Dear Reader:

I should know by now that less is best and the fewer the words, the more powerful the statement followed by action.

Brooke and I (Sunday night) were just getting into our marathon movie mode when I heard one of the main characters say something that stuck with the rest of the night.

In the first show…A hurricane had come through New Orleans and this character was staying in a downtown hotel… the viewers knew he was trying to deliver a large Manila envelope to a particular person -a woman. A twist of fate sets him directly in front of that woman’s car when she accidentally rams him.

She is horrified but he is just concerned about her and two children in the car with her. He offers to fix her fender before the storm hits. He does but the next day as he is starting out… he drives by to check on the family and they have lost a sizable portion of the roof.

He offers to stay and fix it for the family at a very low price…. the woman is somewhat skeptical and asks him… ” Why? Why would you want to do this… don’t you have to be somewhere?”

He just stares down at her from the roof and replies… ” Because I can.” And starts working.

” Because I can” … chills went down my back… just think of the endless possibilities that could literally turn our world upside down if everyone just said the ” one time” to help a family member, friend, or stranger!”

Brooke and I had a fabulous day… which ended up in making a short trip to St George ( ” Over yonder”.) It was to a famous memorable bar… in tribute to this once giant rock n’ roll star.

Lynard Skynyrd ( Leonard Skinner) died in 2010 at age 77 of Alzheimer’s disease.) You might remember his and his band’s greatest hits. ( Simple Man, Free Bird, and Sweet Home Alabama. )

So until tomorrow… Let’s all practice responding ” Because I can” the next time we see an opportunity to help another … an added wink never hurts either.

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

I think it happened about a year ago… Lachlan wanted to know about his birthstone… apparently at school a group of little girls had gathered to ooh and aah over a birthstone ring one of them had gotten for her birthday.

I showed him my ring… and told him my birthstone color was a blue sapphire. Suddenly he jumped up and ran to my clear front door where my gift from his other grandmother ( ” Nana”) Marcia Temple ( Mollie’s mom) hung. It is the ” flying angel holding a sapphire bead for September.

” It doesn’t look the same color blue… Boo Boo.” Smart boy… has anyone looked up birthstone colors lately… no matter the month … whatever used to be the ” special gem color” is open to interpretation for as many shades and different stones imaginable. It appears anything goes.

The thought came to be that Native-Americans used colors and symbolisms to recognize newborn additions to the tribe… to community. Older matriarches helped give the newborn a temporary name ( usually a nickname) until the child grew and based on character traits, unusual experiences and valor in battle… were given their ” forever” names.

I think with birthstones… despite the month of birth… letting a young person pick the gemstone they prefer and sharing the reason for the selection and how it best represents them …on a birthday… would give more meaning and special memory …than the horoscope.

So when I saw this concept of picking an object for a birthstone… I was delighted!

So until tomorrow… one’s birthstone should reflect the person in heart and soul.

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

I did it… I actually threw my overnight bag in the car and took off yesterday morning… feeling like a bird flying out of a cage. Nothing short of a miracle getting away. Was thinking it would never happen.

Brooke’s new dining room -She gave her old antique table to her son Riley and family and a friend turned another gorgeous table over to her… no room after a move.

Please keep Ben in your prayers… he is in a lot of pain from the fall… bruised ribs that hurt … just breathing and spinal spasms. Very hard for him to get up and down. Don’t want him falling again! 🙏🏻