Dear Reader:

I have marked September 28 as my turn-around day… the day I reached out to God again.

I had woken up early to call my oncologist’s office to ask for a anti-nausea medication and then received notification it could be picked up at CVS later that afternoon.

In the meantime my new chemo drug arrived Fed Ex from West Hyde Park New York … I signed off and scurried back inside… huge box with lots of promotional materials and directions. The first direction sent me spiraling downward-” Under no conditions is this medicine to be taken unless you have a full stomach.”

A liquid full stomach was not going to get the job done-CVS was getting my anti-nausea medication ready. And I was having an awful morning-dry toast… I took one bite… the toast got mushy and no way I could do anything but spit it out… the highs and lows of Thursday morning sent me to my knees.

” Oh God… you came to me on a lonely dark May night in 2008.. ( night before the first of many breast cancer surgeries…) and told me to hold your hand… I thought I still was but if not… here you go!” I was on my knees in the den in front of my recliner and right arm shot up in the air.

I was so emotionally distraught I fell asleep on the sofa and when I woke up …( for the first time in almost two weeks) the gag reflex had disappeared . I had not been able to watch but limited television for fear of a food commercial. Anything could set the gag reflex off.

Grilled cheese… didn’t question it/made a very thin grilled cheese sandwich with a side container of yogurt. I got down 2/3rds of the sandwich and all the yogurt/I could swallow without gagging. My appetite was/ still is restrictive in the amount but not feeling nauseous… not having that indescribable gag reflex ( never ever want to experience that again) was like getting a free pass out of jail.

The irony … I haven’t even opened my new anti/nausea medicine that I begged for and got-God intervened first.

Giving myself the last day of the month ( today) to get three more solid food meals in me… and then my ” Rabbit Rabbit” first day -Sunday October 1-my wish-start my new chemo drug and hopefully and prayerfully a little more time to enjoy my bountiful life.

So until tomorrow… Besides a ” death” grip holding onto God’s Hand… there is no doubt that it has been the overwhelming prayers and support that YOU has given me through every form of communication possible that has lifted me through one of my toughest lows. I will never forget it.

Tomorrow is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh( getting there)