Yesterday, I was reading a selection from Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations….he was discussing the faith needed to be brave enough to know when to let go of one thing to make room for another. Spiritually speaking it is learning to embrace loss in order to achieve something more and something bigger. The catch? We don’t know that ahead of time. Pure faith!
We find this counter-intuitive sounding scripture in John: 12:24.) “Unless the grain of wheat dies, it remains a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
Rohr explains: ” Rationally I cannot prove that to you. You have to walk through it. You have to experience it to know that it is, in fact, true and true for you. Frankly, you will not go there until you are shoved.
Truer words were never spoken -going from the highest of highs-Mandy’s wedding to ( within a two week period) the lowest of lows a diagnosis of a “treatable but incurable” breast cancer with an initial three year longevity prognosis… three surgeries, several rounds of chemo alternating with several rounds of radiation.
In retrospect that time period not only involved physical losses but the process of letting go of the ” old me” …. the surface survivor… to the ” new me” who was given the most precious gift of all… a closer relationship with God.
Rohr explains my metamorphosis better than I could or can… ” Some form of positive dying invariably allows you to be united with ” Larger Reality” … God’s Reality.. with fresh eyes that see life in all its glorious possibilities.”
So until tomorrow… There should be a warning that comes with big changes in our lives… we can never go back to the person we were… before our eyes were opened… thank goodness for that!
*** And speaking of changes-like a change of heart-I had an experience with Eloise Saturday that taught me another lesson in grand motherhood.
I had taken her to a neighborhood park just down the street and noticed that all new playground equipment had been built. Eloise was an old pro already… and was showing me all her favorite moves.
Even though Eloise loves girlie things she is quite a little athlete having two big brothers… and she taught me a lesson at the park.
I was fine with everything until I looked up and saw she was about to reach way over to grab a ” fireman pole” to slide down from a high platform. My heart was in my throat and I yelled” No Eloise” that is way too high for you!!! You are too little to do that!”
I scared her initially and she sat down on the platform and sobbed as if I broken her heart. I kept trying to explain to her why I thought it was dangerous… but she just kept saying” Rut Rut goes down, Lachie goes down and Me goes down.”
Suddenly I thought to myself… if it was Rutledge or Lachlan at her age going down would I have reacted the same way? Honestly… most likely not. Somehow I sensed that this was an important moment and I was blowing it! So as scared as I was… I had to show her I had faith in her.
I stood right underneath thinking if something did happen-she would have to go through me first. As you can tell from her expression she was still sad … but like a pro… she shimmied down with no problem at all! Eloise-1. Boo-0
Today is my favorite day… Beauty is popping out all over!