Dear Reader:

For the first time in awhile I have had several days in a row with no pressing appointments or deadlines … and it feels amazing … how simply freeing it all is!

Believe me… I know how blessed I am! With my recent few days …’ slow and easy’ … my thoughts have been allowed to wander into my past …making connections to my present everyday life. And what links to God’s love I have grasped through God’s grace!

For years, as a single mom teaching with three children… the budget was tight… sometimes to the point of almost asphyxiation… I couldn’t sleep at night worrying about what bills I could pay and which I could not, escalating credit debt, parent plus college loans, and wondering if I would ever be free of debt in my life time.

Ironically… do you know what saved me? Breast cancer! God works in mysterious ways!!!

You heard me… out of my darkest hour came the brightest light. Because my diagnosis was so bleak… both my oncologist and surgeon signed my social security disabilities application and wrote beautiful personal notes added to it. My Ya friend, Libby, helped me write my story and prepared me for the telephone interview.

( For two years I didn’t even know I qualified for disability benefits or once I did…the haunting specter that hung over the challenging journey of information required to complete it)

On a cold Saturday morning, about this time of year… I went to my mailbox and one lone thin, brownish envelope was sitting there… I glanced at the return address-it said Social Security… inside was a check-retroactive back over three years when I was first diagnosed … my knees buckled under me and I just bawled in gratitude!

With that check… my house mortgage excluded… I was able to pay off all my credit cards, overdue bills, and miscellaneous household expenditures. I have never felt God’s Presence more than I did that Saturday morning sitting on the floor staring at the financially life- saving miracle.

And it didn’t stop there… with full retirement benefits from the state, monthly social security disability benefits for the first time in my life … I was pulling in more money monthly than I ever did teaching … even with administrative duties my last three years. Go figure!

Of course, realistically, that is still ” small potatoes ” in comparison to other careers… but then having state health benefits has been the biggest Godsend of all! My medical bills alone would have sent me to the poor house in a few months…instead I only have to pay a fraction of all my medical costs to date! Today… having good health insurance is better than any treasure!

***I just heard a pop and sure enough one of my recessed ceiling lights just went out. It is really a pain to replace. Jeff has to bring his tallest stepladder to reach the outlet. Just getting that long ladder in and out the door is a challenge.

But come to think of it everyday we breathe and live… there is a challenge.

So until tomorrow…There is a popular metaphor about the way we have structured our lives. It tells of how we spend our whole life climbing up the ladder of supposed success, when we get to the top of the ladder, we realize it is leaning against the wrong wall …and there was nothing at the top anyway! We had it all the time!

Today is my favorite day… Winnie the Pooh

I am grateful for everyday I wake up… simply wake up ! * And if I get a glimpse of “Sammy” it makes my day! ( Libby gave me a replica of Sammy to look at daily…regardless.)