The “Uneasy” Feeling with “We Need to Talk”

Dear Reader:

Haven’t we all heard the words “We need to talk” and immediately we feel our stomachs start tightening into a knot?

The situation can vary from an electrician or plumber (after checking on a problem in our homes) to a construction problem to our banker talking to us about the results of a loan, to a doctor after an examination or appointment,  to a friend, or spouse approaching us with those dreaded words. Yet…why should they be dreaded?

Experience. Experience has taught us that too many “We need to talk” conversations end badly. And it really doesn’t matter who instigates the conversation…yourself or another…it is still probably not going to go well…at least to one party involved.

Truman Capote’s famous slant on the art of conversing is right on target.


The problem with the “We need to talk” conversations is that they are normally monologues. The conversational instigator wants to get the problem or bad news out as quickly as possible and then (usually) really doesn’t want to listen to a response…especially a long one…His/her job is done….they told you what they thought and now they just want you to deal with it, no matter how devastating it might be to the listener. Their job is done.

It is another case of us playing God. Nicole Johnson in her article “A Deeper Knowledge of God” makes this astute observation:

“My personal translation of the verse: “Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10) is-“I can be still and know that God is God, or I can stay busy and keep wondering if I am.”

When we begin running our own lives, making all the calls, and handling all the problems…we make ourselves the center of the universe…not God.

Johnson remembers this old joke that is still an “oldie but goodie”  worth sharing.

“What is the difference between you and God?”

“I don’t know, what is the difference?”

“God never gets confused and thinks He’s you.”

Stillness provides us the opportunity to keep the “Who is Whom?” question answered correctly.

There comes a certain point, in all our lives if we live long enough, when we realize we can’t play the role of God…not successfully over the long period of time called eternity. We realize we might want to be like God…but we do not want to be God.

Don’t we all know people (and at different stages in our lives might even have been one) that just can’t sit still? They have to be doing…just “being” is not good enough…not satisfying enough for them. They can’t seem to concentrate on anything long enough to complete it but like the butterflies seen in my garden today…these people flitter from one place to the next…never satisfied with being stationary.

If we are true to ourselves we see this ‘condition’ for what it is…’harried and hasseled’ is our excuse for not being silent, still, and seeking God . We are terrified of what we might discover if we actually talk and more importantly listen to what God wants us to hear.

As parents and grandparents we know the importance of stillness when we try to help our children or grandchildren with their ‘boo boo owies.’ We can’t put a band-aid on a scraped knee if the child doesn’t sit still…or put ice/antiseptic cream on a painful insect bite if the child keeps moving. God must feel the same way when He tries to have a conversation with us…but instead watches us grab the band-aid or piece of ice and stomp off to do it ourselves.

So until tomorrow…the next time we need to talk with God…let’s remember to take a deep breath, then take a moment, and then tell God where it hurts…remaining still, silent, and open to His healing and advice.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*Honey Burrell and Susan Cadwell….”We need to talk”.…Thank you both from the bottom of my heart for being the first donors in the Race for the Cure. The warmth from your donations has me already “warmed up” for the race ahead. Bless you both!


About Becky Dingle

I was born a Tarheel but ended up a Sandlapper. My grandparents were cotton farmers in Laurens, South Carolina and it was in my grandmother’s house that my love of storytelling began beside an old Franklin stove. When I graduated from Laurens High School, I attended Erskine College (Due West of what?) and would later get my Masters Degree in Education/Social Studies from Charleston Southern. I am presently an adjunct professor/clinical supervisor at CSU and have also taught at the College of Charleston. For 28 years I taught Social Studies through storytelling. My philosophy matched Rudyard Kipling’s quote: “If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.” Today I still spread this message through workshops and presentations throughout the state. The secret of success in teaching social studies is always in the story. I want to keep learning and being surprised by life…it is the greatest teacher. Like Kermit said, “When you’re green you grow, when you’re ripe you rot.”
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4 Responses to The “Uneasy” Feeling with “We Need to Talk”

  1. ambikasur says:

    Thanks for the blog Becky… BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD was an assurance I needed for today..
    For the past few days, I’m having a real hard time at work with colleagues. Today morning, while I was getting ready for work, I kept thinking about the tension I’m caught up with.
    Just then, one of my friends messaged me a quote by Don Moen which says ” Don’t let the troubles🏻of this world bring you down, focus on God and His blessingsm. *God has a plan for your life*. Hold your head up high, and walk forward in HIS plan – Don Moen.

    I felt like God was trying to make me still and trust Him fully. Then on the way to work on my bike, I passed through 2 cars, which had 2 different Bible verses each pasted at their rear windscreen.

    One car says, ” My Grace is sufficient for thee..”. While the other car says, ” My Presence shall go with thee..”. And now, your today’s blog. I’m glad that the Lord is increasing my faith through all these sources.. you definitely are one of them. Thankyou so much… Really means a lot!!


    • Becky Dingle says:

      Wow Ambika!…you are being showered with so many God Winks and it is wonderful to know that you are experiencing His support and bridge over troubled waters. I pray the stress at work will diminish…that is a difficult environment to face each day…but glad God is sending you so many reassurances of His Love. All will be well. Great hearing from you as usual!


  2. bcparkison says:

    Right now I feel like God is yelling at us through the storms. And if we don’t stop, be quite and listen when his voice gets quite we won’t hear at all.
    Praying for all of us !


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