Isn’t one of the hardest things we have to learn in this life is to withhold passing judgment on others? (I certainly plead guilty on this charge.) Maybe for a few minutes it makes us feel superior and better than someone else but we forget that this person or persons is coming at a situation from another place and perspective. We each have our own paths to walk through in this life.
Matthew says: 7 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
In other words…we need to pass compassion, not judgment onto others in difficult dilemmas…whether we agree or disagree with them. We need to remind ourselves that if we did “walk a mile in their shoes” we would have a clearer understanding of their unique make-up and what circumstances have lead them to a certain point.
“It’s important to remember that people are always doing the best they can, including ourselves.” (Louise Hay) We’re all doing the best we can given whatever tools and resources we have, and the circumstances and situations we’re experiencing.
In a Huffington Post Article “We’re All Doing the Best We Can” (Mike Robbins) cites five ways we need to approach others in lieu of critical judgment. In synopsis they are:
* Give people the benefit of the doubt- The majority of people really do have good intentions and few people want to deliberately do harm to themselves or others, most people just want a good, healthy, secure life.
*Don’t take things personally- “When we stop taking things so personally, we liberate ourselves from needless worry, defensiveness and conflict.” Robbin’s favorite saying is: “We wouldn’t worry about what other people think about us so much if we realized how little they actually did.”
*Look for the good- “In every human being there is both garbage and gold, it’s up to us to choose what we pay attention to.”(Werner Erhard) Looking for the good in others (as well as in life and in ourselves), is one of the best ways to find things to appreciate and be grateful for and again remember that not everything is about us all the time.”
*Seek first to understand- “Being curious, understanding and even empathetic of another person and their perspective or feelings doesn’t mean being in agreement with them, it simply allows us to get into their world and see where they’re coming from — which is essential to letting go of judgment, connecting with them and ultimately resolving the conflict.”
*Be gentle with others and ourselves- “We don’t see people as they are, we see them as we are.” As we alter how we relate to ourselves, how we relate to everyone else, and to the world around us, our perspective is altered in a fundamental way.”
So until tomorrow: “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” (Dalai Lama) Remember most people are doing the best they can with the resources and experiences they have. Let understanding come before judgment.
“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh
*More SURCIES! I opened the door yesterday morning and surprise…a beautiful plant was sitting on my front porch. It is a Thryallis with beautiful little yellow blooms and it loves the sun…good thing since we get a lot of sun around here most of the time, especially in summer!
The plant was from Vickie, my neighbor, for checking her mail and watering her plants while she was away….she shouldn’t have done it since she does it for me when I go off on Ya retreats…but I sure do love it. She even came over and planted it for me. Service with a smile. Thank you so much Vickie…I am so blessed to have such wonderful neighbors!
Look at my latest funny kitchen attire….linen cloth
*Isn’t it a strange feeling when you go to check out (like me at Bi-Lo) yesterday and the total amount (from several odd smaller purchases) “sums” out at ten dollars even? How many times does that happen? Makes you feel like a ‘lucky-ducky.’ And I am!