Dear Reader:

I love Henry Van Dyke’s poem, thoughts, and quotes. He definitely “nailed” the ambiguity of time in this title quote. Time is something different for everyone.

“Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for  those who love, time is eternity.”

We have all experienced the different variances of our feelings towards time…depending on our individual situation at the moment.

Treating cancer produces quite a variety of conundrums. Each patient reacts differently to different medications and treatments…some more successful than others. I had a “new kid on the block” cancer medication four years ago that proved very successful. It literally took my breast cancer and put it into a stagnant stage that  slowed most, if not all, of the activity.

And then last summer it started slowly creeping back again….which brought about a new drug. The conundrum is all about balancing different medications, while treating cancer simultaneously. Under the earlier medication the cancer responding remarkably well, but its side effects affected my overall general health in different areas.

The new drug(s) I have been on since the end of the summer haven’t kept “little c” in check, as well as, the earlier one…but my overall general health (glucose/sugar levels are good, blood pressure, and other vital stats are all back to normal.) It is obvious that the latest drugs aren’t bothering the rest of the body systems like the earlier drug but, unfortunately to date, not as visibly effective either.

“Life is a balancing act.” Lots of conundrums. Right now my oncologist is keeping his eye on certain specific spots to see if they are leveling off or continue to grow. Depending on what happens down the road with these issues…other options or treatments might need to be considered.

Someone once told me that teaching a classroom of  middle school students was like trying to hold thirty corks under water at the same time. This is my analogy of what treating cancer must feel like to an oncologist…you do one thing and that helps one area while other problems pop up due to the initial treatment. Must be aggravating.

 I was updating the Ya’s, as usual on my monthly check-up…Brooke told me that this potential medical situation reminded her of “Little Bunny Foo Foo.”  (Brooke was the elementary teacher.)

I started laughing and asked her to remind me how the little jingle went. She began:

Little Bunny Foo Foo,
Hopping through the forest
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head

Down came the good fairy and she said

“Little Bunny Foo Foo,
I don’t want to see you
Scooping up the field mice
And boppin’ ’em on the head.
I’ll give you three chances,

And if you don’t behave
I’ll turn you into a goon!”

Brooke said it was all the problems popping up in my treatments that reminded her of Little Bunny Foo Foo ….scooping up the field mice and boppin’ ’em on the head.”  (I wish I could bop this newest drug into ‘kicking a little more arse’ to my nemesis “little c.”)

Jackson said, the “conundrum situation” reminded her of the game “Whack a Mole.” (It is also an arcade game)….the more you whack one mole, another pops up. (Kinda like my yard…what I get for living a block away from a golf course!)

After I finished my appointment, I met Anne for a burger and some catch-up time. While discussing the appointment with her…Anne vocally observed that so many dilemmas in life were and are time-related. She has been struggling with a financial decision that involves a time-related issue and was about to bite the bullet and plunge into the paperwork involved in the decision when she read today’s entry from Jesus Calling.

“Wait Patiently with Me, while I bless you. Don’t rush into My Presence with time-consciousness gnawing at your mind. I dwell in timelessness. I am, I was, I will always be. For you, time is a protection, you’re a frail creature who can handle only twenty-four hour segments of life…”Though you are a time-bound creature, seek to meet Me in timelessness.”

Anne decided to step back and give her situation more time. I am happy to have another whole month before returning to see if we are still chartering the same course (but seeing improved results) or crossing new seas to a new horizon.

So until tomorrow…”Joy lies in the in-between.” A month is a long time for adventures and new perspectives. Time is a protection for whatever the future brings…we have time to embrace the situation and then turn it over to God. In the meantime I just need to keep on loving life and everyone in it…now that stops time for eternity.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*I want to thank so many of you for your sweet comments and supportive remarks about this stage of my cancer treatments. I am sure everything will shake itself out….God and His Instruments are hard at work…of that I have no doubt! In the mean time:

*And speaking of time…yesterday was the longest day of the year…the summer solstice. I hope everyone took advantage of the extra time and the cool temps (with this lovely rain) to enjoy it. Welcome summer to the Lowcountry…please be kind!