Dear Reader:

The Ya’s tease me all the time about getting up and being dressed when I walk out in the morning at our retreats. Believe me, it has not always been that way. I could lounge around in pj’s or a gown and bathrobe with the best of ’em but all that changed after the initial diagnosis of “little c.”

Suddenly I became more aware of ‘tempus fugit’ and wanted to be ‘up and at’em’ every single morning. “This is the day that the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it” is my first conscious thought when I awake. The second one is: Choose joy!

We all have this simple choice each and every day of our lives…we can choose to see the half-empty glass and bemoan the fact that we don’t have this or that like someone else we might know in life. Or we can count our blessings for what we do have. And every Ya last week said the same thing at different times: “Life today, even with health issues that were not there in younger days…is still the best time of my life…hands down.” And it is for all of us.

Mother instilled this in me and she definitely got it from her mother….that until the day you die (and maybe even then) get up, get dressed, even if you are going nowhere. It shows the world that you still care about yourself, take pride in your life, and want to put the best face forward that is possible in your unique situation.

I was away at Erskine when Grandmother fell in the tub at my Aunt Eva’s and the sad conclusion was that she needed more help than mother, my aunt, or two uncles could provide. Mother sent me a picture of her last birthday taken at the “home” and I wept. Grandmother had already gone for all intents and purposes…she would never have greeted family for a special occasion in her gown and robe. 

There is something psychologically empowering by simply being dressed each day…no matter what is going on…or not.

I found an article by a young mother who discovered the same thing. When she had been working at home, when still single, she could have cared less about anyone finding her in bedclothes, old tattered robes, or gym clothes that need a shower worse than her.

Then came marriage and two small children. One night their four-month- old decided to party every hour on the hour all night and the realization hit her the next day that she was waving a white flag in front of her…something had to change and she was the only option left. Here are excerpts from the article titled:

Spending the day in your pajamas can really do a number on your mood. * Nicole Fabian-Weber

…I’ve recently realized that if I don’t get dressed in the morning (and I mean actually dressed, not cute-yoga-pants dressed), I wind up having a horrible day.

Alright, so I might be a little hyperbolic in saying “horrible,” but if I stay in my pajamas all day, it sets a truly bad tone. Same if I don’t wash my face. Or brush my teeth. Or run a brush through my hair and maybe throw on some mascara and fill my eyebrows in. Most of the time the only people who see me are my husband, my kids, the babysitter, and anyone I encounter while running errands. But you know what? Doesn’t matter. I’ve come to learn that if I look bad, I feel worse.

I didn’t realize just how true this theory was until a few days ago when I didn’t bother to change out of my pajamas one morning. It was a particularly wild night with my 4-month-old son, who seems to be under the impression that he, my husband, and I should hang out every hour and a half on the dot starting at around 11 p.m. When I got out of bed to start my day, I was so out of it that I kept my jammies on. Then my 2-and-1/2-year-old daughter woke up. Then my son woke up. Then my daughter had approximately nine tantrums. Then I ran out of coffee. Then, then, then, then. It was one of those mornings where I couldn’t find the time to go to the bathroom, let alone put clothes on.

By the time the afternoon rolled around, things had settled down, but I still felt kind of … ick. I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror and I looked terrible. Not terrible in the way that women often shame themselves for looking, terrible in the sense that I looked like I had just emerged from a yearlong stay in the forest. My hair was in a half-bun type of thing that I clearly did without looking. I still had my glasses on. And I was in the breast-milk-stained pajamas from the previous night.

Had I really not had five minutes to put something on? Surely, I did. After all, I wiped down my countertops and emptied the dishwasher. Also, I was holed up in my room working for a few hours. Why didn’t I get dressed then? My closet was directly in front of me.

Now clearly, putting on a pair of proper pants in the morning isn’t the magic antidote for all of life’s problems. But, when you’re a frazzled parent with practically no time to yourself, it helps. A lot. To me, getting dressed makes it feel like I’ve carved out the tiniest bit of time for myself. It shows that even though my life is so not about me these days, I haven’t completely forgotten about myself.

In the years to come, I’ll have more time to focus on myself and maybe getting dressed every day won’t be such a priority to me anymore. But, until then, I’ll be reaching for a pair of jeans and top, even if I can’t remember the last time they got washed.

…………………………..

One of the funniest episodes that happened at Edisto last week occurred while running errands with Libby one afternoon….on the passenger side (before I even got in) the belt buckle buzzer kept going off. What is causing that ….I asked?

(A direct quote from Libby) “Because my pocketbook is so heavy, the car safety system perceives it as an unbuckled passenger and beeps until I strap it in!!!!!!”)

You know your pocketbook is too heavy when…

As much as we give Libby grief about her mammoth pocketbook…we have all benefited from its contents….If you need anything from a screwdriver (the mechanical kind) to a particular type of band aid to sugar packets or filters for coffee….she has it. If a nuclear bomb drops and I am still alive I am heading to Libby’s….have the best chance of surviving longer there with her and her pocketbook than anywhere else on earth (Love ya Libby!)

No news yesterday back from the lab so life goes on….quite wonderfully actually.

So until tomorrow….If we can’t get dressed….at least let’s put on a smile.

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

“Let’s hear it for the lefties this week….first Brooke gets her left eye cataract removed and then Thursday I follow with my left…for me this finishes up a whirlwind four weeks of two eye surgeries, a needle biopsy, and breast cancer surgery. My head is still spinning. Hopefully it will start winding down. Love you Brookie….good luck tomorrow…it goes fast!