Dear Reader:

You might remember about a week ago I told you about a little novel (Save My Place) I had just finished that I enjoyed very much – written by a southern author with a very southern name – Olivia debelle Byrd. Well, when I went to take the book back to Timrod Library, the volunteer asked me how I liked it and I told her “Very much.” (And I went on to explain why and my opinion of the author’s writing style… that I loved.)

The volunteer then told me that the author left behind  copy of her first book “Miss Hildreth Wore Brown”  to Timrod- a collection of anecdotes of a southern belle. The volunteer hadn’t even had time to get it ready to put on the shelf but she told me just to take it (as is) and return it when I finished.

***Now that is why I live in Summerville….that is southern hospitality at its finest. No name, no date…just enjoy reading it. (The Timrod Honor Code)

Once again, it just took me one evening to read the anecdotes- with some additional time built in to stop, put down the book, and wipe my tears from laughing. (I think that is a good sign that my “mandated” lubricating eye drops are working in my right eye….I go Friday for my pre-op cataract appointment.)

Just a small “spoiler alert” … the title gets its name from a very funny funeral situation. A young woman had moved back home to the small southern town she grew up in and her first “official” duty was to accompany her mother to the funeral home for the “viewing” of a friend who had died.

She was certainly glad she could go with her mother but had never been one that liked the “viewing.” “Personally she thought the viewing ritual was unfair to the dead. Think about it. No matter what people say about you, you can’t defend yourself.”

Her mother and another friend were right in front of her in line when she heard her mother exclaim loudly with her hands on her face: ” Oh dear Lawd! They put Miss Hildreth in brown. Brown is not her color. She wouldn’t be caught dead in that color! What were they thinking? Oh,Lawd!”

As the daughter tells it, “It’s so good to be back home. Is there any place like the South?”

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Another anecdote reminded me of my Easter Day cooking catastrophe. I made twenty-four deviled eggs for Easter and I was so proud on how they turned out…. I, even, added a little sour cream (like the food channel cooks suggest) and it just took them over the top. Delicious!

Before putting my prized eggs on a platter I covered it with wax paper and then “top” covered the eggs with aluminum foil. “Pride cometh before the fall.” This is the picture of my “Martha Stewart” deviled eggs….they were so pretty!

At Easter lunch…the next day…I pulled the platter out and proudly set it on the food counter….everybody helped themselves to all the food and then I fixed a plate….and noticed that not many eggs had been taken and both boys, especially, love my deviled eggs. As I went to reach for one….I picked it up and stared in horror as it dripped down on the platter covered in a veil of condensated water.

I sadly ate my dripping egg and thought “Paper towels, dummy, you should have covered the bottom of the platter in paper towels to absorb any moisture from the eggs!”

So when I got to a funny southern anecdote on paper towels I laughed especially hard….let me set this story up for you.

The author and her husband were invited to a fancy sit-down dinner at a friend’s house where she brought out all the good china and crystal. The meal started with a salad and the author noticed something peculiar in it….was it kelp….or some new sea foliage?

Her husband, like Mikie in the old Life cereal commercials, would eat anything.. She pointed to the strange-looking “thing” in the salad and asked her husband if he could identify it. And here’s the rest of the story…

“Knowing my husband’s penchant for eating anything, I asked him to sample this unknown food and tell me what it was. He gnawed for a few minutes then whispered, “Paper towel…Bounty.”

I couldn’t wait to get the hostess in the kitchen. We are very good friends and she’s lots of fun. After letting her know the delicate dilemma, she began to howl with laughter.

“I had a paper towel at the bottom of the greens and forgot about it. By the time I started to toss, it was too late.I just hoped no one would notice.”

A week or so later I was preparing a Caesar salad for dinner and called out to my husband, ” Which do you want with your salad….Brawny or Bounty?”

“Surprise me,” he said.

……………………..

So until tomorrow….God, who created a world bigger than life, must be amused at southern story-telling that is based on exaggerations and frequent embellishments. Southerners do this to try to make our stories bigger than life….and I think God enjoys the effort… with laughter. “Bounty or Brawny”.…God says, now that was a good one.”

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*My first moon flower bloom on my deck popped open following yesterday afternoon’s rain shower….I was so excited!

Delight of the Day:

*Speaking of funny anecdotes….after reading yesterday’s blog about squirrels Anne texted me and said she discovered a squirrel on her front porch pulling the cotton stuffing out of the porch cushions. Its cheeks were puffed out like a bad case of the mumps with cotton dangling down.

I texted Anne back. after hearing about the porch cushion incident, and told her at least she could narrow down the identity of the culprit squirrel to being southern since it was obviously into textiles and loved to pick cotton.

At the post office I told Anne the wanted poster for the squirrel was being taken down….he had been captured red-handed or perhaps cheek-cottoned and was given three years which could be a life sentence. End of problem.