Dear Reader:

As I walked out of the house yesterday morning, the early sun’s rays hit the (now blooming) Bradford Pear tree sending shadows of its branches across the yard. It seemed to be the perfect metaphor for my return to the origin of the blog post.

While filling many of you readers in on the impetus leading up to the blog….it has been a cathartic and insightful prelude for me to what, not only lies behind, but ahead in my path through life.

So many emotions have re-surfaced that I thought were packed up and hidden safely away in my heart and soul. They are still nearer the surface than I suspected. However, they no longer frighten me, instead I see them as benchmarks guiding me to higher roads with better views of the whole….no longer just the parts.

Today’s blog dates back to August 14, 2010….a week after the first blog was posted. It was time to share my extraordinary revelation to others outside a few close friends and family members. It still is.

I was reminded of the story last Sunday when we went around the room, each reading a line of scripture, from Psalm 139-my line read.

 I rise on the wings of the dawn,
    if I settle on the far side of the sea,
¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,
    your right hand will hold me fast.

There were a few gasps  around the room, from the blog readers, and then grins with the two words: God Wink.

“Hold My Hand”  August 14, 2010

“Hold my hand,” came the voice in the darkness. The date was May 28, 2008. I had been tossing and turning all night. My mind was in a jumble. I should be praying but my thoughts were so scattered I couldn’t concentrate long enough to complete a mental sentence. “Hold my hand!‘ This time the voice was louder and more demanding. My brother, Ben, was spending the night so that he could take me to the hospital at 5:30 the next morning for a biopsy and “partial mastectomy “combo.” I would have to arrive early so I could have an emergency blood transfusion before surgery…due to severe anemia. Risky business.

“Ben…?” I called out thinking he had come into the den where I was trying to sleep on the sofa. Nobody was there. With the third “HOLD MY HAND!” I finally understood Who was speaking. My silent cries of “Tell me Lord what to do” had been answered. My mind had been fixated on the irrelevant mundane check-lists of life. (Is my will clear enough? Why didn’t I put a new roof on the house and fix that plumbing in the back bathroom? Will the “children” be okay if I don’t return from surgery? Why didn’t I buy that burial plot a couple of years ago? )

All these trivial emotion cogitations consumed my thoughts and energy. My heart was racing, my mouth was dry, and my head felt as heavy as a bowling ball. But with that third demand to “Hold my hand!” a peace crept over me and minutes later I was sound asleep with my hand extended… draped over the back of the sofa.

A few hours later when I went to the restroom to brush my teeth I noticed that the fingers on my right hand were clinched…as if they were still holding on tightly to Someone. I literally had to un-peel each finger. This incident would be the first of many signs along my journey…that I have come to call “God’s Little Winks“…a God Who lets you know His Presence not only exists, but manifest itself when the soul is deeply troubled and/or needs uplifting.

Obviously I survived the surgery…but the journey was just the beginning. On the second day of my hospitalization, a friend from church, Joan Semle, stopped by to see me. She was a volunteer at the hospital and had kindly helped me through the pre-surgery tests and procedures. She brought me a beautiful book but it was her own story that opened my consciousness to a new spiritual dimension growing out of this experience..

She started the conversation by saying that something very strange and unusual  happened to her on the way to the hospital that morning and it involved me. I remember staring back at her curiously over an array of bandages on my chest. She began the story. She had stopped at a  red-light leading into the hospital when (for lack of a better term) she had a vision.

She and her recently retired husband, Bob, had gone to Italy earlier that summer as a retirement celebration. They had visited the Sistine Chapel and marveled at the murals by Michelangelo.

Suddenly right there in her car on a hot May morning, she saw the mural- Adam’s Creation– the powerful wall painting depicting  Adam’s and God ‘s attempt to re-connect….to touch hands.But this time it was my face that was reaching for and holding God’s Hand. Tears ran down my face as I told her about the voice in the dark. I knew then that Something Bigger than human rationality could explain…was at “hand.”

I want to let you know dear readers, that this is the first time I have revealed this story, outside of close family members and friends. But Honey’s gift to me yesterday, the plaque that reads “Peace is when you find your sanctuary” awakened me, once again. to the reason for this blog’s creation. HOPE. I am finding peace, sanctuary, and purpose…through the mystical connections radiating from this endeavor and my hope for of us is that we find a deep communal understanding of our universal bond. I hope we learn to hold hands when words fall short.

……………………………….

So until tomorrow….How can we ever be lost when the One with the Lantern ….the “Light” leads us along our path. Reach out and hold His Hand if you stumble in your darkness or listen for His call..

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*Yesterday was so special…I had not one, but three wonderful friends visit me unexpectedly and makes wishes in the fountain.

First came Mary….my old mail carrier. She had ten minutes, along her route to spare, and wanted to check up on me. I showed her around and took her to the garden and fountain where she turned around and tossed the coin perfectly in the fountain. (No wonder she was inducted into SC State Women’s Hall of Fame for basketball.)

Then Jo and Colby stopped by with amazing gifts….one they were saving for next October…but like Jo said….we don’t wait now to give gifts….today is a gift day. (Will share them with you tomorrow…amazing!) Oh…how I love those two special people in my life!)