Dear Reader:

When Robert Frost wrote, his now immortal words, “Before I built a wall I’d ask to know…What I was walling in or walling out” …he acknowledged a very personal dilemma we all face in our lives…setting boundaries for our dreams and goals.

In one of Sarah Ban Breathnach’s  daily devotionals from her bestseller Simple Abundance…she addresses boundaries and the problem, especially women, have with setting them.

She explains: “We want our lives to feel limitless, so we must learn the art of creating boundaries that protect, nurture, and sustain all we cherish. For most women, creating boundaries is excruciating, so we put it off as long as possible. To create boundaries we must learn to say, thus far, and no further.”

She gives an example of a talented friend of hers whose writings were stunted by an overly critical husband. Because he was more educated, his wife assumed his opinion of her writings was more accurate than her own “gut” instincts. Sometimes he ignored her writings for days before glancing at it…which told her he wasn’t even interested enough to bother to read it.

So she drew a boundary (“an unspoken boundary to protect her dreams“)…. she decided not to put herself in that situation any more…she stopped bothering to show him her works….and then it happened. She created a break-through novel and her husband was caught off guard at all the attention his wife’s novel brought her.

Humbled he read the book and responded, rather meekly, “This is very good.”  Then he asked her why she didn’t ask him to read it first and she replied with much courage and dignity…“because you had no idea I was capable of this.”

Three of my grandchildren….Rutledge, two, Jakie, one, and Lachlan, six months are in…or soon will be…the famous “NO“ stage. I try to turn some statements around, backwards, to trick Rutledge, occasionally, to get him to say “Yes” but it can be tough going. “No” is the language of two-year-olds.

Now  I realize they are doing exactly what we all need to be doing…setting  boundaries. Breathnach says:

“Speaking the language of “NO” is a good place to start creating boundaries for ourselves.”

Robbins and Mortifee, in their book, In Search of Balance: Discovering Harmony in a Changing World, tell us:

“It is not only our right at certain times to say ‘no’; it is our deepest responsibility. For it is a gift to ourselves when we say ‘no’… when our expectations do not ring true for us… for in so doing we free ourselves to discover more fully the truth of our own path.”

Reflecting back on my own life as a deep-seated “people-pleaser” I realize how long it has taken me to finally be able to say “no” and not feel guilty doing so. As we all know…most of us spend our entire lives trying to straddle that “yes-no” fence… rather than make a decision to jump down and move on to new territories and adventures on the other side.

As a recent more humorous example…I managed to get my photo made for the church directory, this year, without buying the whole package ‘deal’ of photos of me, myself, and I… which I certainly didn’t need or want.

While I was talking to the young photographer I could hear another session going on…about how they could whiten teeth in the pictures, fade wrinkles, and do lots of other photo tricks to make one look as “impossibly” good as we could.

I looked at the young girl and told her I appreciated all the nice offers and options, but, quite honestly, all I needed was a photo to go in the church directory…period. I didn’t need any touch-ups…like the old song says “Just As I Am” will be just fine.

She gave me their address and information in case I changed my mind and I thanked her for her time….she was a sweet little thing and probably relieved she had a few minutes to come up for air…as it was an evening photo with lots of people left to go.

As I left the church I felt pretty proud of myself…I had done it…it had taken me many years…but I had finally said “no” to something I knew I didn’t need or want. This old ‘baby boomer’ is finally starting to bloom…while creating new boundaries. It is quite similar to my moon flower bud…

I have waited on all summer for one little bud to bloom on my “magic” moon gate…and finally I think tonight is the night. There are a lot of us “late-bloomers” around…but that’s okay too! We’re worth the wait…aren’t we!

So until tomorrow…Let us learn how to set the boundaries we need to become a stronger, more confident person who protects dreams, goals, and self-discoveries in order to find the talents we need to render while on our stay in this world.

“Today in my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

*As I am writing this blog (Saturday morning) I am also packing to go to Conway and meet Ben’s new church pastor and wife…he is joining the church tomorrow. Can hardly wait to see some of the family there today.

*Walsh, Mollie, Rutledge, and Lachlan all headed up Friday to Greenville to spend the night, let the boys see their first Clemson game at the stadium, and then head on to Blowing Rock and have a Tweetsie Railroad Ride.

All went well until they left the hotel yesterday morning…Rutledge tripped and smashed his face against a wall….several hours and five stitches later, they left the Greenville Hospital Emergency Room …proceeding on to Clemson in now bumper-to-bumper traffic.

Rutledge and his ‘boo-boo owie.’  Rutledge…your good Boo Boo (no ‘owie’) loves you and is so sorry…but it will get all better and you will have so much fun!

*Eva Cate had her second dancing lesson today…and loved it. Our teeny tiny little dancer! Always keep your boundaries open and wide little girl.

Just squeezed this picture in before heading out the door to Conway…the Dingle are there…hallelujah…no more accidents and dad and Rutledge appear to be having a good time in the photo! Mollie said they were all having fun!!! That makes Boo Boo happy!