Chapel of Hope Stories

Dear Reader:

For the past two evenings I have been glued to Ken Burns’ biography of Ben Franklin on PBS. Burns never disappoints … I stand in complete awe of his amazing storytelling gifts to our country… manna for a retired school teacher!

Franklin was known for his quick wit which started his first career as writer and printer… in Poor Richard’s Almanac. But at the young age of 20… he decided he wanted to live a virtuous life and came up with 13 traits to accomplish this… including temperance, silence, order, resolution, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and humility.

He kept a chart on each virtue and after a week moved onto working on the next one but blew humility while bragging about how he had accomplished humbleness while toasting with a friend ( never really got that temperance down either since he was quite well/known for his beer and ale consumption.)

When his friend called him on the carpet about his boastfulness concerning ” humility ” … even Ben saw the humor in it… and replied” So proud of my humility.” ( A great oxymoron) Besides temperance he also struggled with chastity ( quite a womanizer… and definitely not a Hall of Fame husband or father to his daughter… but he was a self-made man and a successful printer, scientist, philanthropist with his life-altering inventions,, author, and statesman.

In other words he was human… with flaws and all… virtue comes from Latin… virtus or ” vir” … meaning manliness. Aristotle envisioned a virtuous life as a time for men to ” man up” and today ” gal up.” But even Aristotle, like Brene Brown … understood that striving to be the our best is not perfectionism… which is self-destructive because there is no such thing.

On the issue of slavery most people consider Franklin anti-slavery but he had six slaves in his household from 1735 to 1781-( less than a decade before his death in 1790.) ( Slaves-Peter, wife Jemina, and sons-Othello, George, John and King.)

Franklin’s whole outlook on slavery changed when he accompanied Samuel Johnson… to Dr Bray’s school for children of slaves. He realized how quickly they learned and could hold their own in mainstream colonial life. He began donating and supporting the school thenceforth.

In 1787 Franklin became President of the Abolition Society… it became the cornerstone for abolitionist societies in other colonies. It’s mission-abolish slavery, provide free education, moral instruction, and employment.

Franklin’s last act was to petition Congress to provide a way to end slavery through the Constitution. This would finally come to fruition on January 1, 1863 with Abraham Lincoln’s Emancipation Proclamation that freed 3 million slaves.

So until tomorrow…

” Freedom is not worth having if does not include the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them.”

Eva Cate got to enjoy her last 5th grade field day before rising to middle school in the fall.

Dear Reader:

In my humble opinion… there is not a text or email, no matter how powerful, that comes close to a handwritten note, card, or letter . ( Something tangible that can be saved for posterity. Treasures that outlive even ourselves.)

The nicest thing about a letter is that you don’t need a gadget to open it… all you need are your fingers… or a letter opener if one is that organized. But I just like the tactile feel of an envelope or post card… it doesn’t’ just pop up on a mobile phone, chrome book or laptop… you get to hold it and wonder at all the possibilities that might be written inside. There is an aura of mystery that surrounds snail-mail that is missing from ” tech” messages.

As a child I remember feeling so important if a letter came addressed just to me from a relative and/or later friends. Now I try to send some snail mail letters to my grandchildren because it simply makes one feel special!

Every time today I see or use an individual Kleenex pack I think of mother. Because I know longer have eyelashes due to so much chemo over the years… my eyes are very sensitive to the sun and I have to wear sunglasses almost constantly. They water a lot!!!

Mother was always looking for tissue, too. for her eyes and nose… I think our body faucets don’t turn off as well as they did when younger-instead they just drip drip!

So after mother went to the Presbyterian Village with dementia …I would try to mail her a letter , every week, with a personal package of tissue …that fit in an envelope without any trouble.

Much later the working aides there laughed and told me that mother’s eyes lit up every time she opened her letter and pulled out the tissues-it might as well been gold.

All of this is leading me to a large Post-and Courier post card that arrived about a week ago. Look what was on the front of it…

My dolphin! I knew immediately who it was from… The Dolphin Lady aka Linda Kargas-Bone! My once eighth grade student… now author and national educational presenter!

Immediately the picture took me back to that early, foggy October morning-2008-strolling alone on Edisto Beach) when a dolphin surprised me sitting on the jetties by making a vertical leap high above me smiling down with an intuitive telepathic message-” All is right with the world… Everything is as it should be… now go live your life fully.”( I was four months into chemo and radiation after my late May diagnosis)

That same day Linda was flying out to do a presentation-picked up a post card at random from a gift shop and unknowingly chose a card with a dolphin on it! This was the beginning of my new understanding about God Winks! ***On this latest post card that just arrived… Linda’s message ended with ” Dolphin Lady.” Now fourteen years later it has come full circle!

So until tomorrow… ” Snail Mail is an unexpected party in a letter… a celebration!”

All the grandchildren’s Japanese Maples … like my grandchildren themselves… are blooming and blossoming!

Today is my favorite day -Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

Yesterday, I was reading a selection from Richard Rohr’s Daily Meditations….he was discussing the faith needed to be brave enough to know when to let go of one thing to make room for another. Spiritually speaking it is learning to embrace loss in order to achieve something more and something bigger. The catch? We don’t know that ahead of time. Pure faith!

We find this counter-intuitive sounding scripture in John: 12:24.) “Unless the grain of wheat dies, it remains a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”

Rohr explains: ” Rationally I cannot prove that to you. You have to walk through it. You have to experience it to know that it is, in fact, true and true for you. Frankly, you will not go there until you are shoved.

Truer words were never spoken -going from the highest of highs-Mandy’s wedding to ( within a two week period) the lowest of lows a diagnosis of a “treatable but incurable” breast cancer with an initial three year longevity prognosis… three surgeries, several rounds of chemo alternating with several rounds of radiation.

In retrospect that time period not only involved physical losses but the process of letting go of the ” old me” …. the surface survivor… to the ” new me” who was given the most precious gift of all… a closer relationship with God.

Rohr explains my metamorphosis better than I could or can… ” Some form of positive dying invariably allows you to be united with ” Larger Reality” … God’s Reality.. with fresh eyes that see life in all its glorious possibilities.”

So until tomorrow… There should be a warning that comes with big changes in our lives… we can never go back to the person we were… before our eyes were opened… thank goodness for that!

*** And speaking of changes-like a change of heart-I had an experience with Eloise Saturday that taught me another lesson in grand motherhood.

I had taken her to a neighborhood park just down the street and noticed that all new playground equipment had been built. Eloise was an old pro already… and was showing me all her favorite moves.

Even though Eloise loves girlie things she is quite a little athlete having two big brothers… and she taught me a lesson at the park.

I was fine with everything until I looked up and saw she was about to reach way over to grab a ” fireman pole” to slide down from a high platform. My heart was in my throat and I yelled” No Eloise” that is way too high for you!!! You are too little to do that!”

I scared her initially and she sat down on the platform and sobbed as if I broken her heart. I kept trying to explain to her why I thought it was dangerous… but she just kept saying” Rut Rut goes down, Lachie goes down and Me goes down.”

Suddenly I thought to myself… if it was Rutledge or Lachlan at her age going down would I have reacted the same way? Honestly… most likely not. Somehow I sensed that this was an important moment and I was blowing it! So as scared as I was… I had to show her I had faith in her.

I stood right underneath thinking if something did happen-she would have to go through me first. As you can tell from her expression she was still sad … but like a pro… she shimmied down with no problem at all! Eloise-1. Boo-0

Today is my favorite day… Beauty is popping out all over!

Dear Reader:

Yesterday was a ” Big” Day for the Lowcountry-The annual Cooper River Bridge Run and Summerville’s annual Flowertown Festival-both of which attract hundreds of thousands of visitors and tourists!

My job… weave my way through Summerville to get to the interstate to get to Mt Pleasant to keep Rutledge and Eloise while Mollie took Lachlan to a birthday party! I will say it again… life is never dull… thank goodness! .

And speaking of directions… did you know the Irish have “” 5″ traditional compass directions? North, South, West, East,… and HERE?

HERE is an old expression the Irish immigrants used, to mean wherever they lived in the world, the mother country is always with them in their hearts. HERE is wherever the spirit lives, and its days can be brightened with a lush, green garden evocative of the Emerald Isle itself.

As I keep adding more and more to my side secret garden sanctuary …it is becoming more Irish everyday!

It is said if you want a real Irish garden… you must fill it with as much green as possible and always have an Irish Rose Compass in it… a famous Irish tradition!

***When Jeff cleared out this secret space for me ( three years ago) between old azalea bushes and magnolias on my side yard property (right outside my writing/ creative room) it has only taken a little time for the azaleas to start popping up underground-I keep them trimmed low so one day tiny buds of azaleas will appear , as ground coverage, in between the recently planted flowers-oh… so much to look forward to…

So until tomorrow… May we all add a fifth direction to our own personal rose compass-this time letting HERE stand for God in our presence encouraging and guiding us in the right direction… HOME.

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

If I could have more days like my yesterday …my heart would sing a lot louder. After our windy rainy Thursday …yesterday was picture-perfect!

Bluest blue skies, cool but not too hot or cold, gentle breezes but not gale forces, sunny with just enough warmth to want to curl up in a hammock but not too much to fall asleep and get a sun burn-it was ” Goldilocks on her best behavior-kind of day.”

Now add a 300 -plus-year old church near the banks of the Ashley River with a rich history declaring it the oldest surviving church in the Carolinas ( 1706) and lunch at its annual tea room fundraiser with a favorite friend ( Honey) and well… life doesn’t get much better.

The lunch menu is famous for the richest, creamiest she-crab soup around with shrimp paste sandwiches and congealed salads… topped off with a selection of historically baked desserts from all time periods. Check it out for yourself!

We always pick up some ” tomato” knives they sell at the annual fundraiser -perfect for slicing red juicy tomatoes razor thin-once you cut a tomato with these knives you can never use anything else.

On the way out Honey and I bumped into one of our favorite people we worked with at the district office.. the Public Information spokesperson-Pat Raynor. Pat retired just a few months ago and is still acclimating to a new serenity after the crazy pace her job required. I told her ” Well Pat, a little bit of advice-when people ask …What are your plans… what are you going to ” DO” -reply- ” Nothing… I don’t ” do” anymore… I just ” Be” and I have discovered ” Being is enough.”

So until tomorrow…

PEACE PRAYER

May the Spirit of comfort and compassion envelope all who dwell in fear. May the Spirit of wisdom and humility enliven our global leaders. May we affirm the dignity and rights of all free men everywhere. May we seek ☮️ peace!

Today is my favorite day -Winnie the Pooh

Pam Stewart shared this ” First Day of the Month ” Rabbit- the message is for every day of the month and year!

Dear Reader:

Is it just me… or has anybody else, who has grown children, arrived at my same realization that this generation might go down in history as the ” Lost Art of Listening” generation?

I call and hear ” one ringy dingy… two ringy dingys -three… etc. Nothing and then voice mail… So now I follow up with a text message explaining that I left a phone message earlier… and viola! A short text follows answering my questions. Communication over.

My suspicion is verified… this generation much prefers texting over listening and/or talking. Oral out, verbal out… finger tactile in!

I can’t help but think that even Jesus would have a hard time communicating publicly today! A big what if? Think about it… in Jesus time here on earth… 95 to 97 % of the ancient peoples were illiterate and the 3% that were …came to be through social and economic status.

Today we know Jesus reached people through orally talking to large numbers of them and teaching them about God through parables. The most revered men at the time were great orators and Jesus obviously was one since he drew massive crowds to hear him. They actually camped out in the fields ,barren lands, deserts for hours to listen to this charismatic young man. Soon His messages were being spread far and wide. Why? Because people were listening and learning and spreading their new knowledge!

Outside of an outdoor rock concert today can you imagine young people sitting quietly and just listening? What is that old riddle history teachers used ? … Do times make the man or does man make the times? In Jesus’ case …if you are the Son of God… both!!!

A few days ago I had a message from a reader Anthony Bong-who told me he wanted to use a title from one of my earlier posts called ” The Lost Art of Listening ” for a sermon he was preaching soon if that was okay with me… ( it is always okay for anybody to use anything to share with others -pay it forward.) He especially wanted to use the funny anecdote about FDR and the receiving line. I told him to go for it… and he would know if anyone in the congregation was listening by the volume of chuckles!

FDR was known for his quick wit , ready grin, and boisterous personality… but even he, a President, discovered that people aren’t really listening in long reception lines to shake his hand. So he decided to play a little trick on his guests one evening.

FDR got tired of smiling that big smile and saying all the usual things at those White House receptions. So one evening he decided to find out whether anybody was really paying attention to what he was saying. As each person came up to him with extended hand , he flashed his famous big smile and said,” I murdered my grandmother this morning.”

” People would automatically respond with comments such as ” How lovely,” or ” Continue on with your great work!” Nobody listened to what he was saying… except for one foreign diplomat. When the President said, ” I murdered my grandmother this morning” he looked around, leaned in and whispered quietly… ” I’m sure she had it coming to her.”

So until tomorrow…

Today is my favorite day -Winnie the Pooh

Don’t forget to say ” Rabbit Rabbit” It’s April 1-May it be the best month of all!!!

Dear Reader:

Yesterday was a full day when I saw God in nature as spring brings weekly new surprises , took time to pull over and sit on a bench …watching ducks and geese swim and fly by.

Yesterday morning I drove to Mandy’s in Mt Pleasant to pick up items left the week I stayed over ( always leave something) and took the new Easter Rabbit flag and stand for the children’s enjoyment!!!

Then I was off to Daniel Island… to pick up Ben ( my brother) at Wellmore for his cardiology appointment. Always try to get one around lunch time so we can eat lunch out and have a chance to catch up. It was off International Blvd where there are lots of restaurants … but it just so happened that the place we chose to eat had a lady across from where we were eating… who kept looking over at us-she finally came over and said, that after watching us… she thought Ben was once a turkey and I a duck!

We both just laughed but then since she kept staring …I quacked and Ben gobbled-that seemed to satisfy her… I asked what she was and she proudly and loudly declared ” A horse-then neighed and literally ” galloped” off. I honestly can’t think of a way to bring closure to that rather bizarre incident except to nod upward and thank God that each day is never dull if we are open to new experiences… quack quack !

Unfortunately my good luck getting around Mt Pleasant, Daniel Island, and N Charleston evaporated heading home after dropping Ben off … as soon as I got back on I-526 traffic stopped. Sure enough… my worst suspicion came true at the next blinking road sign /overhang -“Incident” ahead near exit 19-Be prepared to slow down.

First of all I would have been happy to slow down but for that to happen… the car must first be moving and traffic was at a standstill. Secondly… Does anyone know why the term ” incident ” has replaced the word ” accident ” -who are we fooling here-everybody sitting in their cars knows there was a car accident… we can take the truth!

Finally… the traffic started moving again and I was relieved the two cars involved and the people inside seemed fine-just a ” fender bender” and some scratches.

I was on the last leg of my trip home-cutting through the Lincolnville ” short-cut” when suddenly I saw several police cars and uniformed policeman blocking off the road-it was a police check. So close but yet so far to home.

I started scrounging through my purse for all the papers and driver’s license-but when it came my turn to roll down the window…the officer just smiled, tipped his cap and motioned me forward… was it an ” angel” ( who heard me praying I hoped I had everything” ) or simply the fact that a certain woman of a certain age was probably harmless … one of the few benefits of growing older! 🤣

So until tomorrow…There’s no denying that we lose a lot of things as we grow older -but the one most critical element that no one should ever lose is their sense of humor. God has a great one… I have experienced it on many occasions-yesterday just being one of them ! 🤣 Quack, Gobble, Neigh!

Today is my favorite day -Winnie the Pooh

Today is also a benchmark day for my ” guardian angel” Linda Carson, my first oncology nurse whose smile and optimism pulled me through the first challenging cycles of chemo… and always she had an orange tootsie roll pop for me and little Eva Cate who also came to be with Boo Boo.

Today is Linda’s last day of work- –Retirement Day and I know of no one more deserving than the angel who held my hand and whose smile spoke volumes-compassion, hope, and love! She never let me get down!

Speaking for all the hundreds, if not thousands, of patients lucky enough to have you by their side… ” Thank you Linda from the bottom of my heart! Now get out there and go see some of this big beautiful world”!!!

Please keep Mike and Honey and family in your prayers as all are gathered around Mike’s beloved mother-Winnie.

Update on Libby-she has been home a week with lots of family and caregivers helping her through these challenging recovery stages! Thank you for your prayers!

Dear Reader.

Do you remember the birthday cards that were popular a few years back… ” If you were born in___( year) …and then they told you who was President at the time of your birth, the best movie, popular book, band that year, etc.?

Well… my ” birth President” was Harry S Truman… I couldn’t have picked a better one if I had a choice. Just recently I re-read excerpts of McCullough’s biography of him. ( I had sworn to myself…after finishing Hamilton a few years back… that I wasn’t going to read another book that weighed more than a newborn ( slight exaggeration) but I couldn’t resist. I have read five of McCullough’s books and stay amazed how each one has drawn me in.

I have always been an avid reader but lately books have become my escape from ” too much too much” world and it’s problems. I love to get lost in other worlds, cultures, and time periods. All books have their own ” time capsules” that can transport one back into the past and forward into the future.

But the best thing about going back into our own country’s history, along with the movers and shakers who lived it… is realizing ( in this particular story) that Truman faced some of the greatest challenges and decisions any US President ever faced without any formal education-a farmer from Missouri.

But like Lincoln… he brought something better to the White House- he loved to read! Real life challenges and hardships coupled with extensive readings on everything made him quick witted and foreign leaders of the day appreciated and admired his candor and universal knowledge. In his later years, after leaving the White House, his books became his life more and more. ( excerpt from Truman)

Cars passing the Truman house in Independence, Missouri, neighbors out for a walk in the evening, could see him in the window, sitting with a book under his reading lamp.

Margaret, Truman’s daughter, was asked one time what her father’s idea of Heaven would be. ” Oh, to have a good comfortable chair, a good reading lamp, and lots of books around that he wanted to read”

Once in New York… when a representative of Doubleday called on Truman at his hotel early one morning he found Truman sitting in a chair in the bedroom with several new books stacked on a table beside him. Did the President like to read himself to sleep at night, he asked? ” No young man,” said Truman, ” I l like to read myself awake.”

In Truman’s final years… he never lost his quick wit but even more importantly he became quite prophetic in his warnings about maintaining a democracy.

Traveling through England with his wife, Bess, he was invited to speak at the Pilgrims-the leading Anglo-American society dedicated to maintaining close ties between the two nations Post WWII.

Truman started out with a big grin announcing that he and Bess were getting along very well in England and so far, he had not needed an interpreter. 🤣 The crowd roared -they loved him.

He finished his talk with these prophetic thoughts.

” A good many of the difficulties between our two countries spring not from our differences but from the fact that we are so much alike. Another problem we have … is that in election years we behave somewhat as primitive peoples do at the time of the full moon. Remember… ” a great, serene and peaceful future can slip from us quite as irrevocably by neglect, division and inaction, as by spectacular disaster. Never become careless about our strength and our unity.”

So until tomorrow…

Today is my favorite day- Winnie the Pooh

Dear Reader:

Every so often I just have to stop and read a little more Archibald Rutledge ( once Poet Laureate of SC) because his writing style is so lyrical I feel like musical notes should end each written line or sentence instead of a period.

In Home By The River Rutledge shares the up’s and down’s of trying to restore a centuries old ancestral plantation named Hampton. When caught complaining one day Sue Alston, the ” angel guardian” of Hampton, asked him what was wrong. Rutledge replied that there was always something happening in nature around Hampton that required additional stress and money….like storms, fires, floods, extremes of heat and cold,droughts.

Sue came back quickly…” Then pray hard… ” Unless a man is in trouble, his prayers ain’t got no suction. Our faith and hope are perhaps never so fervent as when we are in distress.”

One day after a terrible flood Rutledge took hope in the small green specks of green trying to survive…

” I stand in the lonely heart of a swamp from which a great flood has subsided. For a fortnight every plant and flower has been lost under the yellow smother of waters. The sun has hardly dried off the reeking death of the drowned swamplands before nature has set about her work of repair. Bushes that have lost all their leaves show hints of coming greenery. Serried ranks of marsh blades that have been mashed flat by the freshet tide are already recovering their upright positions. Everywhere there is an air of serenity , as if disaster were temporary. With nature ruin is transient. Life and resurrection of beauty are eternal .

A month later I revisit the swamp. Wild flowers are peeping out shyly from the dingy wreckage of the flood. Ferns of magical size are unfolding their mystical emerald fronds. A spirit of subdued triumph broods over all, a spirit of quiet rejoicing, which keeps singing to my heart…

“Hope is stronger than fear; love is greater than grief; life is mightier than death; disaster is an incident of time. The shadows and rain of today will nourish the blossoms of tomorrow.”

So until tomorrow…Rutledge’s modest appraisal of life was ” I, too, am but a visitor here; and I am trying to be a considerate guest.”

Today is my favorite day… Winnie the Pooh

Beauty is not only eternal… it is everywhere around us.

Dear Reader:

An interview with the director of the movie -The Godfather-Francis Ford Coppola…now celebrating its 50th anniversary … lead me on a scavenger hunt to understand the relationship between emotions, feelings, and thoughts.

In an interview on CBS News Coppola was asked many questions about this project that turned out to be the highest ranked and most popular movie to emerge in the early 70’s…

It came out in spring of 71 when all of us Ya’s had our minds on graduation and finding a teaching job-so I don’t remember actually seeing it but heard so much about it and everyone was quoting lines from it-that I have the feelings of someone watching it. Strange…

There was one line Coppola spoke ( in the interview) that resonated with me after the interview went off. His emotions and feelings are still ” raw” ( even today) from the studio’s opposition to his selection of actors-changing the story from just a ” shoot’em” up gangster to a story about families and rituals so that the audience would care about each member of the fictitious Corleone family and see another side of this immigrant culture.

Coppola felt isolated, disliked from the studio ” top dogs” and downright persecuted for his ideas. It was a lonely miserable time for him and utterly exhausting. Even three Oscars later that year didn’t take the sting out of those memories half a century ago. He ended with ” We are creatures of feelings.”

If we are honest with ourselves… don’t we all harbor similar feelings from our pasts? Our feelings are like onions-we can cover them up with layers of ” new skin” and experiences-but out of the blue deep hurts and disappointments still emerge unexpectedly. However, on the plus side euphoria can envelope us just as surprisingly from a memory recall!

Emotions are produced by the brain in connection to a stimulus-an experience. How we react to the experience or situation is individualized by ourselves through feelings ( happy, sad, glad, mad-etc.) Thoughts ( about the situation) are produced when we try to verbally express our feelings. They are the toughest part.

Aren’t we humans all guilty of mumbling ” Fine” or ” Okay” when asked about our feelings. The problem is…. most truthful responses require us to admit we aren’t just experiencing one simple feeling-one feeling is wrapped up in layers of complex feelings.

You might be sad but you are also lonely, frustrated, angry, and scared. Coppola is right-” We are creatures of feelings.” And they are all a part of who we really are. And like in the thought below… we want so badly to be accepted as we are… flaws and all.

So until tomorrow… we must keep reminding ourselves that we have the opportunity to start over and begin again every single day… by first loving ourselves and being kinder to us.

If the angel deigns to come, it will be because you have convinced her, not by tears but by your humble resolve to be always beginning; to be a beginner. -Rainer Maria Rilke

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

I know many of you probably saw this extremely ” feel good ” story on the news but I decided to share it-in case you missed it.

Ms. Lana, a beloved custodian at Georgia Oak Hill Elementary School in Covington, Georgia ( 21 years) was surprised recently when all the children drew sun flowers ( Ukraine’s national flower) covering every hall since Lana is originally from Ukraine and has 30 family members still living there -that has saddened her in recent weeks -an usually smiling happy lovable asset to the school.

But she did break out into all smiles and laughter as the children and faculty gave her bouquets of sunflowers too! She was completely overwhelmed. It wasn’t hard to see Lana’s real feelings! ❤️ The Beatles said it best-” All we need is love.”

Beautiful flowers in the serenity of a garden brings out my true feelings. Blessedness… Thankfulness!