Chapel of Hope Stories

Dear Reader:

Just a few years after my initial cancer diagnosis I tuned in to one of Oprah Winfrey’s last shows.

A little toddler sitting between his parents – a boy-was stealing everyone’s hearts in the audience but rather strangely there also wasn’t a dry eye in the audience. I was puzzled as I watched the child exit with a grandparent to the loud clapping within the auditorium.

An interview was taking place between a young family and Oprah.

I kept staring at this young fresh-faced couple who could have been models for a family commercial.

The young wife was talking and within seconds I realized the bittersweet situation taking place. The young husband was holding tightly to his wife’s hand and never let go. The young woman had cancer and only months to live but you would not have known it…except for the tight clasp of her husband’s hand and his adoring eyes.

The young woman’s face was shining with an indescribable light… glowing in happiness and serenity. She was also hilarious and everything coming out of her mouth made each listener smile and even just plain belly laugh!

I stared in amazement at this woman’s ability to look death in the eye with her whole life before her and thank God for everything she had been given.

She admitted when you get gut-punched by the universe it hurts but we are still co/creators of our lives and she wasn’t wasting anytime feeling sorry for herself-that was a luxury she had no time for…

I remember her comparing life to a River…she admitted that it is just human nature to try to steer the River instead of just going with the flow and allowing the current to take us along for the ride. She continued that once we learn there is so much in our lives that are completely out of our control… we then realize God has an even greater plan than what we originally planned.

Before she left that day she winked and said she had left one last surprise that even her husband didn’t know about and he would share it with Oprah.

Several months passed and then one day Oprah had a live interview with the young mother and wife’s husband following her death.

The cameras followed him to a beautiful shady spot on an embankment at the bend of a charming river-her favorite spot.

The husband knew about this part of the funeral plan but what he wasn’t told was what she had picked out as her inscription on the headstone.

Oprah first saw it and burst out laughing along with her husband and the audience… amid tears.

The inscription said:

Excuse me… but please move. You are blocking my view.

So until tomorrow… Don’t we all need to let go of mundane obstacles that block our view of the sheer splendor and beauty of this world and the time in it…God gave us?

” Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

Yesterday I attended Jake’s ballgame-it was a ” Take me out to the ball game… take me out in the rain…” day!

Rain or not the game was on-Eva Cate and I shared an umbrella while Jake and the team delighted in the rare opportunity to ” play ball” in a steady but soft rain!

Poor Winnie is home from surgery and must wear an obstacle ( cone) that blocks her vision of delight… dog food!

Dear Reader:

This past week an amazing woman (whose children I taught) had a birthday and friends were leaving wonderful comments on FB to her. All very nice …but what caught my attention was her first line… ” I enjoy growing older…”! What a honest and refreshing comment to hear !

I immediately understood exactly what she meant… physically our parts might need more fine tuning more often but the spirit grows freer and freer. .. finally in tune with what life should be about.

All those ridiculous things that I worried about-dressing right, making-a good impression, fitting in, being accepted, etc. have dissipated over time.

Instead I have reached a place where I can honestly say… ” I am finally free to be me.” All those petty mistakes in daily life used to keep me up at night… trivial things I forgot to do on my daily check- list, misconstrued actions or words… so much of my life consumed by insignificant worries.

These days my life continues to simplify… my garden, friends, family and ordinary adventures make my days happy ones.

Last week I went to Auto Zone to pick up some windshield wipers and wash fluid. The woman assisting me graciously put the wipers on for me.

It was while I was waiting for her to check their computer to make sure they had wipers in for my make and model car that I had a small epiphany.

Life is all about replacing parts. As long as our make and model ” body vehicle ” can get parts to replace the old ones that have given out-we can keep moving through life.

Yet we all know that one day an important part will give out and the computer will read ” Make and Model Obsolete… no longer available or obtainable.”

And that will be that… but I hope at that moment I will realize what an amazing ride I had in this life! No regrets!

So until tomorrow…Remember: You May be older today than you have ever been before, but you’re younger than you will ever be again!

“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

My first hibiscus bloom off my bush by the driveway!

Dear Reader:

Thanks to Mother Nature, recently, the Lowcountry is pulling out of the near-drought conditions it was headed for just a week prior…

I had bought another water can to help me with my side garden since there is no workable faucet on that side of the house. And as much as it forced me to run back and forth filling up water cans… today that side is the most beautiful.

There are two reasons for this…location, location, location and 1:1 attention from me. The garden gets only dappled light from the trees that tower over it and each day before the rains finally arrived-I would talk to the plants while I watered each one and ” dead-head” the withered blooms to make room for new blooms.

Just that little extra attention has made all the difference. Because I have an automated sprinkler that comes on each morning my presence wasn’t as essential in the back yard garden.

The flowers didn’t get my presence as much and extra gardening attention-so several plants have withered from lack of acute observation.

However the plants on the outskirts of the garden needed my water hose since the sprinkler didn’t reach them and they too thrived better than the automated sprinkler plants . I would check on them to make sure the hose water got to them… and pull weeds from around them or clip off dead or decaying stems.

All living creatures thrive better when special attention is diverted to them. This is an example of another lesson I learned from teaching. Most behavioral problem students just wanted attention-just wanted to be seen and heard. Acting out improved with just some 1:1 attention from the teacher and certain other students selected to be a buddy to a challenged learner or troubled teen.

So until tomorrow … don’t you think our Master Gardener does this for us and even more importantly smiles when we take the watering can to help someone else using 1:1 techniques to make them feel seen, heard, and cared for by God’s water cans- us!

” Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

I always find it fascinating that blue or pink hydrangeas depend on the amount of PH acidity or alkaline in the soil. Apparently I have both in my garden!

Dear Reader:

In one of Barbara Johnson’s Daily Splashes of Joy she tells about a man who was moving to a new town. His friends bought him a young sapling to plant in his new home as a reminder of all the fun they had shared.

The man nurtured the tree and soon it was taller than he was. Each spring it’s blossoms lifted his spirits and reminded him of his friends. But then he had to move again. He called a tree expert and insisted ” No matter what the expense, I want to take it with me. “

But the specialist shook his head ” This tree won’t survive where you are going, ” he insisted. ” The climate’s too harsh. All you can do is tell the new owners it’s story and help them understand how special it is.”

That’s how many of us ended up with The Tree of Life taking root in our hearts . The Tree of Life symbolizes our personal development, uniqueness, and individual beauty.

Like the branches of a tree grow upward to the sky, we too grow stronger, striving for knowledge, wisdom, and new experiences as we move through life.

So until tomorrow… didn’t someone else pass the gift seed from their life experiences on to us-nurtured by them? What an awesome hand-me-down!

It made me start thinking how hard it will be to leave my garden and five maple trees ( one for each grandchild) behind one day! But I will make sure the story will be left behind too!

” Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

All the rain made my gardenia bushes start blooming galore! Oh… the fragrance! Heavenly!

I picked some blooms and brought inside-I woke up from a short nap yesterday to that lovely scent in my house-sorry Febreze … you don’t come close to the real thing!

Gin-g told me her sister Suzy stepped into Heaven at 5:25 Saturday morning-as sunrise was beginning-Suzy loved sunrises and sunsets!

Thank you blog readers-it was a long hard journey for Suzy but a beautiful new beginning! Your prayers were much appreciated!

Dear Reader:

When it came time to select lenses for my eyes before my cataract surgery a few years back…a choice for my particular visual situation was to place one eye lens for nearness-upclose and personal activities like writing my blog post – in one eye and a far-sighted lens in the other eye-it would keep me from having to ever wear reading glasses again. ( which I lost by the gross!)

It has worked well EXCEPT in one type of situation- when either mounting or descending steps in a dark space… I lose my depth perception ability. And that brings us to my fall from dignity Saturday afternoon leaving the auditorium following the dance recital.

Walsh ran out as quickly as possible to get the car to bring around while we decided to leave early too to get Eloise before the crowd descended.

So the auditorium was still dark when we jumped up to mount the steps-I was about two steps from the exit when I splattered -thank goodness the floor was covered in carpet.

I tripped on the edge of the last step and my knees caught the brunt of it! Everybody, it seemed, was trying to help me up to my sheer embarrassment!

I jumped up and wobbled off … both knees were stinging but more from carpet burn than anything else. I was lucky-yesterday my knees were sore and a little pink but not blue with bruises. I know how lucky I was/ am … still it burned in my memory as an indignity to the reality of growing older.

Sometime yesterday I started thinking about spiritual in-depth perception. The miracle of having two eyes to provide us with two perceptions is easily obtained when we close one eye and then switch to the other-objects appear to move. If we keep one eye closed for long… things start to appear flat.

The wonder of ” stereo-scopic vision” ( seeing through two eyes) lies within our brain. By the brain combining them in such a way … a new picture emerges-a perception of depth.

Spiritually we have two ” eyes” -our mind and heart. If we use our minds too much-our vision lacks depth. We fail to see beauty, the importance of moments and most importantly the wonder of close relationships.

It is only through the heart that we can find our soul which allows us to see the world as God created it …and the hand of God everywhere in our daily lives.

Oh Lord how marvelous are Thy Works!

So until tomorrow… Make each day a good day with lots of thankfulness in it!

” Today is my favorite day!”Winnie the Pooh

Oh happy days-we have gotten rain, rain, and more rain over the weekend ! Filling up all my big pots!

Dear Reader:

It has taken me a good chunk of my life to love myself but I am finally there. I can finally look in a mirror that once represented all my vulnerabilities for far too long … and now greet my best friend each morning with a smile… me, myself and I.

I don’t know how many times I was told, starting with my mother, that we must first love ourselves before we can love another. Easier said than done…right?

So much of my youth was spent hating so much about myself- I wanted long straight thick hair, I got thin wavy hair, I wanted a pretty smile but got buck teeth ( until I had almost graduated from high school) I wanted to be tall… I was short and skinny. I wanted to be anyone but me.

Time is the great healer in youth… braces bring pretty smiles, curlers added thickness and smoothness to wavy hair, and gawky skinny female kids slowly change into petite figures.

But what it took me another decade or so to discover… was that these external factors were not the real me and couldn’t be corrected with braces but only self-acceptance of the person inside me.

I also came to realize that when I showed compassion to others… I felt a tremendous sense of meaning, purpose, and joy in my life. Teaching taught me this!

I love the poet, Mary Oliver. She says in poetry what the rest of us struggle with in word definitions.

( ” To Begin with the Sweetgrass)

… ” And I have become the child of the clouds, and of hope. I have become the friend of the enemy, whoever that is. I have become older and, cherishing what I have learned, I have become younger. And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know? Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.”

So until tomorrow…As you meet each moment, ask yourself ” What is the kindest thing I can do right now?” Follow the path of compassion ( Kate Wolfe-Jenson)

” Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

And my favorite day yesterday brought the family together to watch Eloise dance in her first dance recital inside the Galliard Auditorium. ( Actually she hopped a lot-they were frogs but still she was the best hopper out there! )

She loved the flowers Boo gave her and before it was over …she was surrounded by beautiful flowers the family members gave her!

Dear Reader:

” Life Lifters” are exactly what they sound like-moments of human bonding through funny or sweet little anecdotes that leave people smiling.

I love to be able to share a witty quip or joke with my doctors, medical technicians, surgeons or those in authority outside the medical field like bankers, realtors or even tax accountants. I have discovered that a few witty remarks and/ or sincere compliments start any exchange off on a better foot.

Even something as simple as ” You have made my day” leaves both you and the other person satisfied at the conclusion of a check-up or business meeting or even medical procedure.

In other words… I was fearful or nervous coming in… but you did a great job and left me feeling relieved and happy at the conclusion.

I read a true story last week about a lady who faced surgery for breast cancer-in her own unique creative way.

Before she was wheeled into the operating room she donned a propeller beanie on her head and a large, colorful sign on her chest that said GIVE IT YOUR BEST SHOT!

In the operating room a nurse saw the sign and asked her what it meant. She replied ” Well, when that surgeon cuts on me today I just want him to be in a REAL GOOD MOOD! ”

In the title photo there is a bottle of homemade white wine by my friends Ed and Roz Van Alstyne! ( Philosophie Chardonnay) Roz and I taught social studies at Alston Middle until she and her husband Ed moved to Indiana.

But thank goodness they return annually for a beach vacation and we always meet at Oscars for lunch! They followed me home to see the garden and believe me seeing them again definitely ” made my day”-along with the wine! 😘

You might have also noticed a box of a dozen mini-Bundt cakes in the title photo…but true confession… not only is the box not a baker’s dozen -there are only 11 little cakes left! I had a serious sweet tooth attack yesterday!

In medieval times… if a baker gyped a customer by shortchanging the size and amount of bread they could be flogged-so bakers started adding an extra wheat item -even two sometimes-13 or 14 so as not to be surprised by law enforcement and a flogging.

* I have decided to give all the mini-Bundt cakes to the grandchildren first-so the count gets lost in the joy of wolfing them down!

” Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

Sadly if it looks like a storm, blows like a storm, lights up the sky like a storm … doesn’t mean it will rain like a storm! Maybe I need to tell the storm a joke?

Dear Reader:

Every time I see this little plastic frog it brings back bittersweet memories. A friend and teaching colleague of mine, Theresa Winders, was diagnosed with breast cancer around the same time I was.

And when I started my blog she became my ” editor” -checking my early ones for grammatical errors-she was kept busy!

She gave me one of dozens of plastic frogs that she carried with her everywhere… giving them to surgeons, doctors, nurses, and other patients. She would tell each receiver that the acronym for F. R. O. G. was ” Fully Rely on God.”

Today Theresa lives with God but her frog reminds me Whom to turn to in troubled times… plus it just makes me smile.

I have two boxes that always lift my spirits when I am feeling low. The first one contains notes, letters ( some from you readers) quotes, inspirational anecdotes, grandchildren’s pictures and cards…. plaques and pictures.

The whole idea of keeping happy collectibles for “rainy” days ( though it is finally raining today and I am ecstatic… Hallelujah-) is a terrific one!

It started when that adorable Colby and grandmother Jo made me a Winnie the Pooh box and filled it with all kinds of fun things…along with this note.

” This is your happy box”

” Whenever you feel down, open up your box for instant joy. When you receive a note or an object that brings you joy, add it to your box. It is up to you what you add. This is your happy box. Fill it with love, hope, laughs, joy, beliefs, prayers, and encouragement. Enjoy Your Box! With love, Colby and Grandma

So until tomorrow… Happiness is homemade so make a box ( es) for all your uplifting keepsakes for those days when you need a reminder how precious life is!

” Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

And oh what a terrific day! Honey was in town and we had time to eat lunch and hang out together! Ashley called and after some more procedures things are finally turning around- she is free of tubes! Hallelujah! Honey was heading back up to the mountains and could hardly wait to stop by the hospital again for encouraging news!

Just having Honey around made me happy and she brought me a pink flamingo for my garden! Lots of smiles!

Dear Reader:

As I first read the description in the ” Chirp” message I felt like a school child again…. waiting for that last bell to ring and let summer vacation begin! June is here!

The nice thing about being a teacher all my life was getting to experience that same sense of joy on the last day of school-in fact I got to lead the class each year in the final count-down from 10!

(The best kept secret about teachers is that they are probably the most excited ” kid” in the class-no matter the age-on the last day of instruction! Welcome June with time to read all those novels waiting till now!)

So this year…June started off on a fun light note for me… but as we all know the seasons in life present their own personal challenges-and sometimes even when you don’t get a direct hit-you start to feel frustration and sadness over your” target” friends who did!

This is what I am experiencing this month-hoping, wishing, and praying for several friends who are experiencing medical dilemmas, relationship quandaries, moving problems and just overwhelming life/ death conundrums. How to help outside of prayers and talk?.

Then I thought that maybe there should be a faith exchange during trying times. By combining our faith -your faith will help me and my faith will help you.

At a recent conference a discussion began concerning helping ourselves and others when our balance in life falters! One of the leaders, Matt Chambers, said he used to view balance as a tightrope or see-saw but he no longer considered them good metaphors in life …because so much of real life is

beyond our control ! We have no idea what is coming towards us. Matt decided that the game Twister is a much better metaphor.

Balance in life isn’t about just trying to keep things even … it’s about not falling down.

Each of the colored circles represent things that May trip you up and cause you to fall. The key is that we need people in our lives who will cover each space to keep us from falling. People who can carry us through, who can cover the spaces we can’t-and at least break our fall is we do.

So until tomorrow… we can begin reaching out to others by sharing a smile, an encouraging word, a chance to laugh.

” Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

…And my favorite day to shout out Happy Birthday to Ya Libby! I know you have had a full plate lately friend but today that plate is only allowed to be fully covered with birthday 🎂 cake!

I picked flowers from my garden to make you a birthday bouquet!

Dear Reader:

All of us know that “going the extra mile” means being willing to make a special effort to do or achieve something.

54% of bosses seek out future employees willing to go the extra mile. This expectation works better when management sets the the bar high by first putting in extra effort themselves and becoming mentors for their teams to emulate.

Jesus, however, had a different take on the reason behind going the extra mile.

Jesus proclaimed in Matthew 5:41 … ” Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two.”

When Jesus spoke about going the extra mile, he wasn’t referring to customer service but to a Roman law imposed on the people. The law stated that Roman soldiers could order any citizen to carry their weapons or equipment for a distance of up to one mile.

No matter what you were doing, the law required that you drop everything and obey. You can guess how people felt about that! So when Jesus said ” Whoever forces you to go one mile, go with him two, ” even if it goes unacknowledged… citizens shook their heads in bewilderment!

Don’t go the extra mile for material motives-expecting a raise or promotion-do it because you want to be a positive witness for Christ… for the glory of God!

In other words the gesture should come from the heart-not expected rewards from a calculating mind.

Today if we wish to show our true character and live a lifestyle of kindness to others beyond the norm… then we must ask ourselves if we are willing to go the extra mile as a witness to our beliefs. The world is always surprised when someone does.

So until tomorrow… ” You know what the nicest thing is about going the extra mile? It’s never crowded!

” Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh

* Prayers please for Gingi’s sister Suzy… time is drawing nigh after battling pancreatic cancer! Suzy is tired. 🙏🏻

It is time to replace some flowers and plants with others who can better acclimate to Lowcountry summers-cone flowers, blanket flowers, dahlias and portulaca!