The Dual Faces of Feeling Indebted…

Dear Reader:

I had an opportunity over the weekend to feel the two sides of ” indebtedness ” or feeling ” indebted.”

Haven’t we experienced,throughout our lives, the opportunity to thank people by saying something along the lines of… ” I will be eternally ” indebted” to you for being there for me during one of the toughest times of my life” … or even being on the receiving line of such a compliment and feeling a sense of elation and joy that we could help. ( And many times without sacrificing much on our part to do so. )

Yet… on the flip side… don’t we sometimes, also, feel the ” burden ” of being indebted to someone or something … and wish we could click our red shoes and not be ” beholden” anymore?

Here is a story I found that played into an incident I experienced over the weekend.

In the story a man is driving a a wagon when he sees a walker, along the road, carrying a heavy burden on his back. Since his wagon is empty he stops and tells the walking man to hop in and take a load off.

The walker is grateful and thanks the wagon driver profusely… however, later when the driver glances behind… the walker is sitting but still holding his burden on his back. The driver tells him to put it down beside him as there is no need to keep holding that heavy burden. The walker shakes his head and says the driver has done enough.

The driver tries to explain that the weight is the same for the horse, either way, so lay his burden down beside him…but the man is convinced that he will be just a partial burden by doing it his way.

As crazy as it seems reading this… haven’t we done the same thing… feeling better if we just accept partial help from another … rather than complete assistance… even though it can be easily accomplished without being a burden on either side?

The indebtedness that bothers me is in the financial realm. I really dislike being ” beholden” to any credit card, equity line, car or home mortgage. In earlier years… I had no other options many times … in order to keep things afloat …but now with all my adult children through school… with careers, homes and families of their own… I have methodically taken one credit line at a time and paid it off. EXCEPT my home mortgage!

( This explains why I was deliriously happy last week to pay off ” Surcie” ( my Hyundai Tucson) almost a year early! I crossed off every single ” indebtedness ” except my house. )

And as coincidence would have it… my renewal mortgage was imminent and I was waiting on the phone call I get every set interval ( by a financier) to come in and refinance. But this time… before I could get the call… a notice arrived, over the weekend, asking me to pay off the balance on the house before a certain date in early April or pay more interest!

My common sense told me it was just a mis-timed mix-up but it didn’t stop my heart from wanting to jump out and run away. We are all victims to the news and interest rates and bank scares… and it all compounded to make for an unsettling weekend.

But by early morning yesterday… I discovered that the last financier ( who helped me) no longer worked there and the new young man who answered her number was so sweet and so apologetic… and ” on it” after he looked up my files. It was, as I had suspected, simply human error and the proverbial ” slip between the cracks.”

So until tomorrow… All is well that ends well… and I am feeling ” indebted” to nice, earnest employees who take all ( not some) of the burdens of life off our shoulders!

Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh

There is so much ahead in our lives… the surprise future waiting to unfold!!! Life is ever changing and we must look to the good when it reveals itself!

About Becky Dingle

I was born a Tarheel but ended up a Sandlapper. My grandparents were cotton farmers in Laurens, South Carolina and it was in my grandmother’s house that my love of storytelling began beside an old Franklin stove. When I graduated from Laurens High School, I attended Erskine College (Due West of what?) and would later get my Masters Degree in Education/Social Studies from Charleston Southern. I am presently an adjunct professor/clinical supervisor at CSU and have also taught at the College of Charleston. For 28 years I taught Social Studies through storytelling. My philosophy matched Rudyard Kipling’s quote: “If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.” Today I still spread this message through workshops and presentations throughout the state. The secret of success in teaching social studies is always in the story. I want to keep learning and being surprised by life…it is the greatest teacher. Like Kermit said, “When you’re green you grow, when you’re ripe you rot.”
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2 Responses to The Dual Faces of Feeling Indebted…

  1. Rachel Edwards says:

    Glad all worked out…


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