The other night when this ridiculous negative memory popped up, once again, for about the 1000th time… I shook my head in frustration and googled… ” Why do we seem to keep recalling and retaining negative memories over positive happy ones? ”
Several articles from ” Psychology Today” immediately popped up. Humans do retain negative memories over positive ones. ( It wasn’t my imagination) Apparently it results from inherent DNA from our earliest ancestors when survival was foremost on their minds. Learning quickly from mistakes was crucial to survival… so our brain was trained over long periods of time to remember our mistakes and not repeat them.
So now today…we have to learn to re-train our brains to store up good memories by concentrating more on the sunny side of life over the stormy.
How many of you who saw Father of the Bride Part Two remember that hilarious scene… when Dianne Keaton snd Steve Martin ( Nina and George) are driving home from a doctor’s visit where they just learned Nina is pregnant. ( Their grown married daughter had just announced she and her husband were expecting.) George and Nina are both in shock.
As they drive home along this beautiful sunny street on a gorgeous day ( while the classic song -The Sunny Side of the Street-plays) Nina ( looking out her window) watches a mother with her adorable little girl skipping beside her stopping to lean up to kiss her mother. George, however, looking out his window, is watching a little boy throwing a temper tantrum, kicking his poor daddy in the shins, throwing a bag of snacks at him, and rushing down the street while the poor beleaguered daddy is screaming at him to stop.
The scene is hilarious but it perfectly illustrates what the article was trying to tell us… if we want happy memories at night-we must maintain a positive attitude and focus all our energies on the ” ups” and not the ” downs” of life. .. on a daily basis!
And what is this silly memory that still pops up, unexpectedly, decades after its occurrence? It goes back to a required educational class I took my senior year in preparation to teach. Each of the class members had to teach a mock lesson as we were filmed by the professor-then later we had to watch it again while the class critiqued our performance. Foremost was the number of ” UM’s” counted and recorded. So humiliating! Everyone cringed as the stats of mistakes were revealed about their performance. 🙈
Every time it pops up now I make myself think of one special student I was able to help or a thank you note from a student at the end of a school year-these notes were more special than gold. Trade negative thoughts for positive ones.
So until tomorrow… think about all the things in life that make you happy and concentrate on this part of life over earlier mistakes or tragic coincidences.
Today is my favorite day -Winnie the Pooh
And speaking of birthdays…It appears that Fall is going to fall hard… just in time for Mollie and Susan’s birthdays today! Warm fuzzy sweater cool!
Becky, your negative memory reminded me of one of mine I had forgotten. When I traveled promoting my counselor resources, I nervously presented to hundreds of educators at conferences. All of those required evaluations from audiences. After one particularly large group, I received dozens of positive comments, but 1 negative one stood out. That person had counted the number of times I said “Um” & that’s the only comment he made. That stuck with me & ate at me for a long time, but isn’t that what we do to ourselves? Perfectionistic expectations!!! Very unhealthy. Thankfully, in older age I’ve learned to be a recovering perfectionist. Focusing more on the positive & forgiving & even laughing at myself at times. Striving for excellence is now my goal. Wish that for you too. P.S. I still hate seeing myself on camera!!
Janet Bender 843-452-3240 jbender.juiceplus.com
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:4-7
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