I am at the stage in life now that I understand completely the quote: ” Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.” Soren Kirrkagaard
We all are our past experiences, good and bad, but the fulfillment of our lives depends on the meaning we create from our experiences that shape who we are. We, and we alone, have the choice to select the personal meaning that affects our future lives positively or negatively. It is all up to us.
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer my surgeon surmised I had probably had it about a year prior to its medical discovery. Since that year was the excitement of planning my firstborn, Mandy’s wedding…I can understand it. To say I was “tunnel-visioned” would be an understatement. I daily lived and breathed that wedding!!!
Two weeks after the wedding I received the diagnosis and I was put on the fast treatment track… surgery two days from the surgeon office visit-I was anemic and had to gets lots of blood pumped into me the next day and then surgery followed the next day.
It was all a blur to me, my children, family, friends… and speaking of friends, Brooke was my rock throughout it all. My surgeon was talking about three years as an approximate time-line for my longevity… Brooke and I just stared in a daze. Too much to process so quickly.
I distinctly remember the day a few weeks later( after having some time to process what had just transpired) looking in the mirror and ” seeing” mother… feeling what she must have felt learning she had bone cancer and they had to amputate her left hand. Young widowed mother with three little children to raise. Good grief! If mother could pull that off… surely I could take ” little c” on and give it a fight to remember. My children were grown and I had just retired… my situation was a cake walk compared to mother’s experience! I could do this… I would do this… dammit… take that , my cold/hearted nemesis… I wanted to be there for more weddings and grandchildren… and here I am today … living with cancer but more importantly living!!! ( Three weddings and five grandchildren later)
I will be the first to admit that cancer has taught me invaluable lessons… like the importance of being present, choosing happiness, making and spending time with the ones you love… and ” turning wounds into wisdom.”
So until tomorrow… Recognize past difficult events and experiences in your life as something that happened to you, rather than becoming and being a part of you. Be thankful for everything that happens in your life… it’s all an experience. It’s all life!
Today is my favorite day. Winnie the Pooh
Gingi stopped by and brought me a bag of memories from Harriett… she just gives and gives to everyone and everything she fights for… a soldier in pink. Gingi said Harriett will be going to the Presbyterian Village to regain her strength from the recent radiation and lung chemo treatments. Please say prayers for Harriett to regain her appetite so she can regain her strength! Thank you one and all!!!
On a light note Harriett also sent a kitchen towel with a perfect message on it. Even though Summerville has lost its ” small town” population… in many ways it still contains its small town charms like the message on the towel Harriett sent.
I love my nooks and crannies… this is my favorite one in my bedroom!