I remember feeling like ” my candle was burning at both ends” constantly as a single mother… that I was meeting myself coming and going. And I kept wondering if there ever would come a day when I wasn’t terrified of increases in college tuition, . broken down cars, property taxes, mortgage payments, medical bills, etc. Would I ever be on top of life’s daily demands… to keep everything afloat?
And then one day I woke up and realized I was finally free… the children out of school with jobs… settling into adulthood… and for the first time in decades.. I could pay my bills every month without ” robbing Peter to pay Paul.” The day worries and nightmares were over. And it just wasn’t the financial burden but I was different-surviving cancer and even thriving in spite of it and taking advantages of opportunities to travel and see the world… I was spiritually and happily content!
It was like my particular candle burned at both ends but each side went out midway… leaving my heart and soul intact to see my world through fresh eyes.
When I read this excerpt yesterday… from Kelly Rae Roberts, artist, on turning 48 and her feelings… I felt a connection from myself at that age and today. Kelly wrote:
” Approaching my 48th birthday… I am feeling the full-on beautiful weirdness of midlife. It is a strange and fascinating metamorphosis of what’s happening to my outer self. ( the wrinkles, sagging, and stiffness.)
But there is also this other thing-the transformation of my inner life feels powerful!
There is a deeper emergence of confidence, purpose of feeling within a brand and fresh new start. It feels wonderful!!!
And even though there is no denying the outward physical challenges in aging… (they increase with age exponentially) … inwardly I, myself, have never been so at peace with the universe… gratitude and love have replaced anxiousness and worry.
So until tomorrow… as long as God is still holding my hand I know I can never get lost again in the man-made maze of stress and doubt.
Today is my favorite day-Winnie the Pooh
In Ireland today Kaitlyn tried riding English Saddle meaning during a canter you have to post or stand straight up! Kaitlyn did it!