I think one of the most emotionally challenging situations in life is losing a loved one mentally before physically. The loved one is there … but simultaneously not there. It is like looking at and listening to a big brother who was brilliant in his ideas and high standards academically fade away into a confusion of thoughts and memories battling each other.
The hardest part is seeing the glimpses of a little lost boy in the mix. A MRI showed a series of mini-strokes through out his brain -over time and several more recently-diagnosis-vascular dementia which will continue to happen. It might be slowed down with blood-thinners but not stopped-it is a progressive disease.
But then I know that-since I live in that world too but am cognizant of it with my metastatic breast cancer. …whereas my brother’s understanding waxes and wanes like the tides.
Lee is bringing Ben to my house for some temporary sanctuary while more permanent options are explored.
So until tomorrow… Help me help Ben in this unsettling transition. Caregiving often calls us to lean into a love we didn’t know possible.
” Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh