Leaving “Good Enough” Alone…”If It Ain’t Broke or Even If It Is Leave it be”

Dear Reader:

Last week I introduced you to author Nicole Phillips who I heard when I plopped down with my sandwich, in the recliner, being interviewed about her book-The Negativity Remedy. 

 

Her personal epiphany, that she was sharing in the interview, was  about realizing that the “universe” or “those people” are not out to get us; instead if you start looking for kindness first… over jumping to negative conclusions…your world turns upside down for the better.

It’s like me making the decision some evenings to simply skip the negative, depressing news …instead I wait until the last five minutes and turn the television on so I can hear the good news about some personal act of kindness an individual did…these segments end all the national evening news shows these days. (Even David Muir said that selecting these ending segments to put on each evening keeps him sane too. 🙂 I leave watching the ‘news’ reassured that so many people really are “good at heart.”

While researching the author, Phillips, last week…I noticed that you could sign up for her daily example of kindness that would be emailed out each morning….so I decided to do it. Phillips was telling about this particular interview, I saw, the first morning I received her “kindness note.”

So I texted her back and told her that I loved this unique perspective on kindness, and how I had shared it with my son and daughter-in-law (Walsh and Mollie) last weekend. Walsh was going to share a couple of stories with his team crew this week at work. I thought Nicole would like to know that her “kindness” was spreading. A few hours later…I got this response back….

Hi Becky!

Thanks for watching — and for your encouragement! It’s amazing how much brighter the world has gotten since I’ve stopped judging myself and others so harshly. 🙂

I hope your week is filled with kindness!”

Nicole
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When she shared this latest observation on acceptance of imperfections in life over frenzied ‘control freak” “Fix it” now former attitudes….I had to laugh. We’ve all been there, sadly!

It has taken me a lifetime to realize that you can’t fix everyone’s problems….I reckon it is that “mom” thing in us when the children are small…but as they grow, along, with their problems…there comes a time when it is time to stop trying to fix all the wrongs…it is a lesson in futility and frustration. Just listen...it is all people really want from us.

Nicole shares this cute excerpt from her blog…

I got back from the interview in LA late Saturday night. The whole family was wide awake and practicing their best (loudest and highest) opera voices.

 

The next morning I went out to collect a week’s worth of mail. No one thought to bring it in, or maybe they knew I would get a kick out of seeing how many things our mailman, Kevin, could fix into one tiny box. Well done, Kevin!

 

On my way back in the house, I noticed a sign hanging next to our front door, encouraging people to shout Ding Dong because the doorbell is broken.

 

I so clearly remember the me who once existed. The me who thought there was a certain way to do things. Schedules and rules and organization were of great priority.

Then one day my priorities changed. All the things that were broken, no longer seemed like things that needed to be fixed. I started to see them as part of the fabric of our lives. Instead of weaving together black and white (right and wrong) I began to see the value in the multitude of colors that come from letting go of the pressure of perfection.

The tapestry of our lives became beautiful to me.

What are you trying to fix in your life that really doesn’t need fixing? Take a deep breath. Memorize a relaxing mantra. Then look at how colorful life can be when we stop trying to control it and vow to simply enjoy it.

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And I enjoyed reading your favorite toys….Gin-g liked the Ken and Barbie dolls, a toy refrigerator,  but really loved the little toy cooking ovens…Remember the ones where you could make the googy “brownie” mix ….how many times did we all have to pretend it was the best thing we ever put in our mouths…it was unfortunately one of Eva Cate’s favorite toys too.

Lisa shared this personal memento that touched by heart so….

“I love this story Becky! You are right—comfort toys are a “god send”…I had a Care Bear with a heart in its belly—I slept with it every night. Night time was always hard for me as my Mom worked nights from the time I was 9 years old and my older brother and I would stay by ourselves through the night—my Care Bear helped me feel safe💕”

Dee shared that she had a doll (Curly) she was close to…but it didn’t have a happy ending and she still couldn’t go there…so she chose a rocking chair as her favorite toy from childhood.

It was made by her Great Uncle John especially for her….Dee said her happiest memories were playing in his workshop making necklaces and bracelets from wood curlings for her and her Aunt Annie.

When she was five years old she got the rocker…and fell in love. She admitted she put more miles on that little rocking chair growing up than she ever  did a car…rock and dream. When she married it had a special place in her living room. When their daughter, Kimberly was born…it became hers and like mom…she rocked and dreamed too.

Kimberly married and had a daughter, Morgan, who loved to visit her grandmother Dee so she could rock and dream also. So it was decided that the rocker would go home with Morgan one year. It was the first time Dee had been separated from the rocking chair since 1945.

So to keep the memories preserved…Dee had a four-framed photo shoot made with all the family “girls” in the rocker at different ages in their lives and decided to title it…”Rocker of Ages.” (I love it!)

Thanks for sharing your childhood memories of your favorite toy with all of us…we are all enriched from the memories.

So until tomorrow….”Leave well enough alone” when it comes to the mundane things in life…It is too short to stress over every imperfection life can throw at us. In fact isn’t it the imperfect items we come to love and remember the best?

“Today is my favorite day”  Winnie the Pooh

Move out sunflowers…”The camellias are coming, the camellias are coming.” 🙂

 

 

About Becky Dingle

I was born a Tarheel but ended up a Sandlapper. My grandparents were cotton farmers in Laurens, South Carolina and it was in my grandmother’s house that my love of storytelling began beside an old Franklin stove. When I graduated from Laurens High School, I attended Erskine College (Due West of what?) and would later get my Masters Degree in Education/Social Studies from Charleston Southern. I am presently an adjunct professor/clinical supervisor at CSU and have also taught at the College of Charleston. For 28 years I taught Social Studies through storytelling. My philosophy matched Rudyard Kipling’s quote: “If history were taught in the form of stories, it would never be forgotten.” Today I still spread this message through workshops and presentations throughout the state. The secret of success in teaching social studies is always in the story. I want to keep learning and being surprised by life…it is the greatest teacher. Like Kermit said, “When you’re green you grow, when you’re ripe you rot.”
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2 Responses to Leaving “Good Enough” Alone…”If It Ain’t Broke or Even If It Is Leave it be”

  1. Rachel Edwards says:

    Very thought provoking…I tend to want to fix everyone and it is truly exhausting…so need to turn it all over to the Lord…

    Like

    • Becky Dingle says:

      Imperfections just make us who we are…if we were are all “perfect” we would walk around like “The Stepford Wives”….perfect robots. Being human is being imperfect in an imperfect world….this will change one day…but not on earth… In the meantime it does add color to our unique tapestries…

      Like

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