I used to think the three most important words in the world were “I love you” and they still are when they are meant or feelings are still intact. But man is fickle by nature and too often the words die faster on the vine than time needed to fix the problem.
So with age…I think now I would prefer someone telling me “You matter.” “You matter in my life, you matter in our children’s lives, in our family’s lives, in the work force, in daily routines…you matter to me in life. The world wouldn’t be the same without you.”
Sunday, as I sat in my recliner…whooping and hollering and whooping some more with the Four C “Cruds”….Cold, Congestion, Chest, Cough!” Or simply cough, cough, cough, cough, cough.
I never heard back from my chest x-ray (I was sent to the hospital to get Thursday morning)…so I figure it must have been what the vast majority of these chest congestion problems are (as I was informed)…viral. Antibiotics won’t do the trick…just time and a little cough medicine along the way. Cough! Cough!
I slept most of yesterday away….it was so gloomy when I would wake up…I couldn’t tell if it was early morning the next day or simply the same cloudy day from the same morning turned afternoon…(which it turned out to be.)
Sweet Vickie brought over delicious soup and bread which I gulped down…first food all day and for the first time I was actually hungry…figure that was a good sign on the road to recovery.
Parts of one show I was still alert enough to watch yesterday morning was a segment from CBS Sunday Morning NEWS…my weekly favorite show. One segment, particularly spoke to me….re-enforcing once again that it is not the big things in life that make the most difference in someone’s life… sometimes it is the smallest things.
At 19, Kevin Hines jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. He said if just one person had spoken to him and told him they cared…he wouldn’t have jumped…he was just in so much pain…completely isolated with bi-polar disorder…blaming himself for causing his family distraught.
At the last second…he thought the miracle had happened…but it was simply a woman asking him to take her picture on the bridge. He took it, turned around and jumped…breaking his back but against all odds surviving.
He later explained “I needed to hear “I was a good person and I had value” ...I just needed that reaffirmation so desperately.” Today he tours the country talking about his experiences but also about the power of a post card, a note, a physical hug with verbal acceptance of him unconditionally. All miracle workers!
Sadly suicide is on the rise…the highest since World War II. In 2018 1 1/2 million Americans attempted suicide. Many psychiatrists have started sending upbeat “You matter to me” cards to their patients instead of just handing them an appointment card. The doctors are writing encouraging words about their progress and how proud they are of the patient… sending out monthly personal notes/cards instead of a cold appointment reminder.
Examples like” “Together we can do this”….”We really can!” “Believe in me…because I believe in you.” ” I will never not be there when you need me.”
In a studied group session…where half of the psychiatric suicide patients were put back in society…those who received cards had half the suicide rate of those who only got appointments.
So until tomorrow perhaps less is best in reaching out to our fellow man when they most need to feel a part of the human race- two word “You matter” and “Just stay” might be the most powerful of all.
“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh
*I am going to have to see if Luke can bring Big Red in tomorrow…Tuesday morning and Wednesday morning will be below freezing…and “Big Red”s blooms are starting to pop out all over.
*I have mentioned several times that my sense of smell has been compromised by so much chemo over the years… but now and then it pops up and surprises me…making it a gift worth waiting on. Yesterday it was the tea olive bushes in full bloom that caught my scent when I walked out on the deck….I could have just floated away in that scent.
Oops! I blew it again! I always get Marcia Temple’s birthday mixed up with the wrong Barbour…I want to put Marcia and Bekah’s Oct 19 birthday on the same date instead of Marcia and Lee’s birthday on January 19, yesterday. I think my neurons are getting crossed in my brain the older I get. Spreadsheet someone PLEASE!
So here’s a BIG SHOUT OUT TO Marcia Temple…Mollie’s sweet mom…just wished we lived closer. And I will have to make a true confession Marcia…I am admittedly a little jealous now that Whitney has little Finn…because you are beating me…6 grandchildren to my five. UMMMMMMM?????
Mollie sent me these fun photos of Bruce, Mollie’s husband and five of the grandchildren taken outside D.C. where part of the family gathered right after Christmas! Too funny…the kind of photos you laugh about forever…fuzzy, antsy and hysterical. And there was still little Finn who couldn’t make the trip. All tied up now…three boys and three girls!