I love Kelly Rae Roberts’ most recent blog. In it she is describing the dual feelings of watching her son, now eight, become more independent while her heart-strings still want him to need her.
Yesterday, I began experiencing the same thing. Eva Cate, is now eight too, and it is the subtle, little things that tell us they are growing up and away a little at a time. (Mandy and John have been sick all week, Mandy with some type of horrible bacterial virus…and John with severe infected sinuses. They, both, had a meeting Friday they felt they needed to attend….so I told them I would come do a girl day with Eva Cate.)
I noticed when we crossed lanes while shopping at Town Center in Mt. Pleasant…Eva Cate no longer grabs my hand, automatically, but confidently looks both ways and crosses with me trailing quickly behind her. Instead of selecting clothing items that I thought were cute…she informed me that she liked this or that color or this was something that was very popular at the moment. She is a true shoe lover and can hardly wait to stride across the room with a little elevated leverage.
Kelly Roberts observed these traits in her 8-year-old son.
I received a question earlier this week about what I do when my mama heart breaks. I loved the question and I don’t think we’re talking enough about it.
True is on the edge of 8 years old , and though my mama heart has cracked many many times, it’s endured a heavy dose of it lately.
He is becoming his own. Watching our children Become is both heart-expanding and heart-breaking all at once. As he reaches for his developmental milestones of independence, I reach for all the permissions and allowances I can give myself to grieve. As he moves slowly away from me, I move closer toward myself. I cry. I process with John. I process with friends. I hold sacred space for him and for myself. I pray. I ask the Angels for guidance. And I celebrate the Great Mystery of Being A Mom.
Remember Who YOU Wanted to Be
Remembrance as in Ancient Remembrance. Remembrance as in what you’re here to do. Remembrance as in aligning your sacred purpose with your everyday choices.
In a world with so much noise, Remembrance of who we are and who we want to become is a radical and crucial act of self-inquiry.
Here’s what I’m remembering lately: I have deep pockets of Divine Optimism. I want to be a good steward of Possibility. I want to nurture my own artist heart as well as others. I want to remember that I am here to listen to Joy, to find it in the dark murky waters. I want to remember that nothing is wasted and every moment of my life is here to serve me.
How about you? How can the holy reminder of Remembrance guide you? How can you recalibrate – even if micro steps – toward who you wanted to be?
It is just as hard for a grandmother to watch her grandchildren grow up as it is for a mother. Childhood is so short and so precious. If we blink it is over.
Thank goodness Eva Cate still loves her Barbie doll houses, working on art projects with lots of glitter and living in an imaginary world. I think she might be a script writer for movies when she grows up….because I can hear her voice changing as she takes on the parts of everyone of her dolls going in and out of the doll house. She is completely lost “in transition.”
These childhood sounds comfort me. It won’t be long until the doll houses disappear but for a few more precious moments in time…she is still the little girl with the big imagination.
*I wanted to be a nurse when I grew up because it sounded so glamorous/romantic, and fall in love with the handsome doctor. (Too many Dr. Kildare and Ben Casey television episodes I suspect.)
The nice thing about being a teacher is that the job offers lots of diverse occupational experiences- putting out fires (firemen), keeping order (police), first-aid nurse, handing down verdicts (judge), psychologist, storyteller, actor, and motivational speaker. (These days being a lawyer wouldn’t hurt either with so many lawsuits in daily life.) So I got to experience it all.
Come on now….’Fess up Readers! What did you want to be when you were a child and did you become that…or something else? The “Boo” wants to hear from you!
Eva Cate loves acting and being in front of a crowd…it will be interesting to see where her passions lead her.
“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh
Girls Day Out: Claires, lunch, Barnes and Noble, always ending with yogurt and Eva Cate’s lego box set built in 15 minutes…she is a whiz at lego’s.
When Jakie got home Eva Cate surprised him by baking his favorite: chocolate pretzels…with just a little help from mom! Jakie is now the proud owner of 13 cars from the movie CARS…he knows every car’s name.