Monday was my regular six-week scheduled oncology check-up. By the time I left my six-week appointment…I learned that my check-ups are now going to be two-month regular appointments.
I feel like a baby being weaned from her mother….with similar mixed feelings. Part of me still wants my security blanket….the doctors and nurses who encourage me…. while, simultaneously, taking longer flights from the nest…like a baby bird.
When I was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2008….there was a true sense of urgency. From the time of my first appointment with a breast specialist/surgeon… life changed radically.
Two days later I was having my first mastectomy and then two weeks later I had started my first chemo regiment. Radiation on a daily basis for six week intervals was added at three different points along the way and it was rare for awhile for me to wake up and not have an appointment associated with “little c.”
Treating cancer is like trying to hold several corks under water at the same time….I would get a good report on one treatment while getting hit with side effects that weren’t good. Like Dr. Silgals told me Monday….my particular breast cancer wanted to be unique and not follow the normal “rules” of a hormonal breast cancer which is usually the type for women my age….at the time in my late 50’s.
I literally had to get down to the ninth inning with two strikes on me to hit a homerun out of the park with a new treatment, not even designated for breast cancer. Who knew? (God knew!)
It would be nice to think that this was it….I was free of cancer but since I am testing an experimental drug no one knows how long its effectiveness will last or if/when “little c” might re-appear out of hiding.
The one thing I do know is that I am so happy to wake up each morning. Period.
Even during the darkest days two years ago….when the radiologist and surgeon just shook their heads in frustration I reassured them that things might not be looking all right on the outside looking in….but my soul was still doing all right…in fact there was not a trace of cancer to be found there.
*Today’s title poster is a Kelly Roberts drawing…(love her works….own several items of hers.)
“It is well, it is well with my soul”
My soul must have talked to my body and told it to get its act together because “little c” has stayed at bay since starting the new drug.
International Standard Version: Proverbs 15: 30
“Bright eyes encourage the heart; good news nourishes the body.”
So until tomorrow….Thank you Father for the good report this past Monday….my eyes remain bright with joy for the time I have been given for growing in faith, and loving family, friends, and flowers.
“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh