Brene Brown, Ph.D. (The Gifts of Imperfection) has observed and identified the one single thing that separates the men and women who feel a deep sense of love and belonging from those who don’t…the belief in their worthiness.
In order to do that we must let go of the fear of what other people might think about us and instead “own our story.”
When we finally reach the realization that all the time we have spent in our lives “performing, perfecting, pleasing, and proving” for others’ high opinions of us has been wasted time… then we understand that this same amount of time would have been better spent living inside our story. Being true to the person God expects us to be…not man.
Our greatest challenge in life is believing that we are worthy right this minute of love and belonging…not when we have achieved self-imposed prerequisites. Examples:
1) I’ll be worthy when I lose twenty pounds
2) I’ll be worthy if I can get pregnant
3) I’ll be worthy if I can get/stay sober
4) I’ll be worthy if everyone thinks I’m a good person & parent
5) I’ll be worthy when I can make a living selling my art
6) I’ll be worthy if I can hold my marriage together
7) I’ll be worthy when I make partner in my firm
8) I’ll be worthy when I win my parents’ approval
9) I’ll be worthy if he calls back and asks me out
10) I’ll be worthy when I can do it all and look like I’m not even trying
Any of these sound familiar…some of them sure do for me! We are our own worse critics…we set improbable (if not downright impossible) goals to accomplish before we can open ourselves to love and acceptance. Why do we do this to ourselves I wonder?
It would be easy enough to blame the media, advertising and many other modern-day culprits…but this strange phenomenon has been around since the beginning of time or as the old joke goes:… When Adam and Eve ate themselves out of house and home.
In order to change our perception of love and belonging to the concept of “being” and not necessarily “doing” ….we must look at love as unconditional and understand the difference between “fitting in” and “belonging.”
“Fitting in” means assessing a situation and becoming who we need to be to be accepted.
“Belonging” (on the other hand) doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.
So until tomorrow…Let us allow Your light to shine upon us and through us so it can be passed on to others in a circle of love, belonging, and acceptance…without any “if’s” or “when’s.“
“Today is my favorite day” Winnie the Pooh
* I checked in on Master Rutledge yesterday and watched him for awhile to give Walsh some time to run errands. He decided to be a pirate…lots of “AARGH” going around and even a dangling earring (mine) for effect.
Rutledge’s teachers sent over this sweet poster for their “missing child” Rutledge! (Rutledge tells everyone his name is RUT RUT DING-TRUCK!)
*Rutledge experienced his first River Dogs game last Thursday…Walsh has a great story about how they miraculously caught the ball…(a tall tale for sure)…since they were handed the ball as a memento for little Rutledge’s first game…still…too cool! And too nice!
* Sherri put her whimsical chicken I gave her in the vegetable garden…too cute!
* I thought this sign was appropriate most early mornings or evenings this summer…placed it on the front porch.